Lost

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It Was The Best Of Times, It Was The Worst Of Times
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

No previouslies this week. The producers obviously don't care about you if you have a bad memory.

A bleary-eyed Jack wakes up to find Juliet saying his name. He's kind of out of it, and looks like crap. But those could both just be the result of having been woken from a nap. There are some shouty voices outside his tree-branch shelter, and Juliet leads him outside. Where we find Bernard, clearly the smartest Lostie left on this show since Arzt died, angrily demanding that Daniel finally answer some fucking questions. (By the way, if you read that entire recap you'll find a million predictions about how Dancing With The Stars was going to be a colossal failure. TWoP, your home for accurate television prognostication since 1999.) Bernard is particularly upset that the satellite phone is no longer picking up any signal at all, and he's convinced that Daniel knows what's going on. Charlotte tries to defend Daniel, and Rose gets in on the fight, telling her, "Just watch your tone, Red." There are times when I wouldn't mind if the only survivors at the end of the show were Rose, Bernard and Aaron. Rousseau would have been on that list, but... Well, you'll see. Jack tells everyone to calm down, and tells an anguished Bernard that he obviously knows that Daniel and Charlotte are liars. But he thinks it would be good to have them around when their friends from the boat come back, essentially announcing that they will make excellent hostages. Which isn't such a bad plan, except that Jack already knows that the Boaties killed their own doctor, so it doesn't seem wise to rely on their desire to preserve the lives of their crewmates. Jack tells them to be patient: "I've gotten us this far. I said I was going to get us off the island, all of us. I promised that I would." And then he collapses under the weight of his own ego. Everyone rushes over to him. There's no stare of impending flashback, but only because Jack is unconscious and his eyes are closed. But the crescendo tells us that we're going to flashback (or flash-forward) anyway.

Aaaaargh! Sorry, I was just overcome with revulsion at the sight of Jack's pale, hairless torso. I guess this is what the promo monkeys meant when they said "all will be revealed." Some things could stand to be kept covered up. Jack's asleep, until a ringing phone wakes him up. It's his office, calling to remind him about a scheduled surgical consult. Because apparently, he's smart enough to lead a band of crash survivors but too stupid to update his calendar. He gets up, wrapping a towel around his waist to spare us more than a tiny glimpse of his ass, and heads out of the room (stopping on the way to pick up a pair of lacy panties off the floor and put them in the hamper).

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Lost

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