Episode Report Card
LuluBates: B- | 1 USERS: A-
Locke and Load

Apparently, Sayid was a cook in Paris. Or in that casino that has a replica of the Eiffel Tower, because it is looming in the background as he makes his way to the customer's restaurant to scope out the job situation. Sayid walks into the well-appointed Middle Eastern restaurant and asks for Sammy. Sammy comes out, shakes Sayid's hand, and explains that the restaurant is simple but good. His wife comes out, and Sammy introduces her. She has burns all over her arms and a very serious look in her eye. Sayid says it is a pleasure to meet her. Things go downhill from there, though. One of the men grabs Sayid, and Sammy asks his wife if she is sure this is him. She says yes, and while Sayid is attempting to protest, the men in the restaurant grab him and beat him down. God, I hate disgruntled customers.

Sayid is on the couch at the ranch. Patch has just pulled the bullet out of his arm and is about to start sewing up the wound. There's an extreme close-up shot of the bullet hole and the needle poised to start stitching. And I have officially lost my appetite. Thanks, show! Patch stops his ministrations to yell at his Evil Cat in Russian. Sayid asks what he said, and Patch explains that he asked Nadia, the Evil Cat, to be polite in front of their guest. "Guest"? Don't you mean "guy you shot"? Maybe that's what the kids are calling it these days, but Emily Post might take issue with it. Nadia the Evil Cat was named after Nadia Comaneci, the greatest athlete of all time. I thought the Soviets hated the Romanians. Or maybe I hate the Romanians? Oh wait, no -- I hate the Romantics. "I hear / the secrets that you keep!" Ugh. So, it's definitely the Russians who hate the Romanians. After another gratuitous wound shot, Patch proclaims Sayid mended. He wants to make amends with a glass of iced tea. Wow. Does that qualify as adequate restitution in Russia? I think we now know why Communism failed! Patch takes the opportunity to go see what Locke is up to. Locke is still playing chess. Seriously. He is STILL PLAYING CHESS. Patch suggests that Locke shouldn't waste his time. Patch has been playing against that computer for ten years and has never beaten it. Three grand masters of chess programmed it, and it cheats. Locke says he has played a lot of computers, and he doesn't think they know how to cheat. Being able to cheat is what makes being human so distinctly wonderful. Well, that and our opposable thumbs and excellent television writing!

Kate is suspicious. But not as suspicious as Sayid! Kate says it doesn't make any sense. Why would they just let Patch stay? Sayid says it makes perfect sense if he is one of them. Kate looks shocked. Shocked! You let him shoot you!, she says. Why are we just sitting here? Sayid whips out a chalkboard to spell it out for her: "We are sitting here, Kate, because I am sure he is not alone." The music is Very Dramatic during this exchange.

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