Episode Report Card
Daniel: B- | Grade It Now!
Way down in the hole

"Wow," says Lizzie the Lawyer sarcastically. "For someone who wants to retain his parental rights so badly [somewhere, Locke is pleased], you don't seem to know much about your son." Her mouth doesn't seem to open all the way. It's a little disconcerting, I have to say. "I'm his father," says Michael quietly. Lizzie the Lawyer asks if he'll say that again a little louder for the record. And Michael actually DOES THIS.

Full moon on the water, with Michael on his raftlet and Sawyer on his, drifting together, caught in the same current. Michael keeps looking over at Sawyer, who's examining his bullet wound. Michael yells that Sawyer's crazy if he thinks he can pull that bullet out by himself. Sawyer can't believe that Michael doesn't shut up. And then he proceeds to dig into his wound with two fingers, yelling, "Ahhhh! AAHHHHHHH! NNNNNNGH!" He keeps going, adding, "NNNNRGHHH!" and finally he's holding the bullet in his bloody palm. He gives it the patented Sawyer Stink-eye, then throws it out into the water. That'll learn it, hoss. He clutches his shoulder, then looks over at Michael. "You got a Band-Aid?" he says, and Michael ignores him, and Sawyer collapses back onto the raftlet, and Michael continues to studiously ignore him. Yeah, he just wants attention, Michael.

Back down in the hatch-hole, Desmond is still asking Locke, "Are you him?" Locke either decides it's in his best interest to say he is, or he just remembers the words of a wise Ghostbuster: "Ray, next time someone asks if you a god? You say yes!" Good advice. I have it in cross-stitch hanging by my desk. Locke stands up. "Yes I am," he says, smiling. "Can't believe it. You're finally here," says Desmond. "Well, here I am," says Locke, grinning. Don't oversell it, dude. Desmond looks at Kate, still lying on the floor. "Who's she?" Locke helps Kate to her feet, and finally just says, "She's with me." Given that Locke doesn't even know whom he's pretending to be, it's understandable that that was the best cover story he could come up with for Kate (much better than trying, "She's for you," and thrusting her at Desmond, I suppose).

Desmond seems quite perplexed by this, so he tests Locke: "What did one snowman say to the other snowman?" Locke does his best to come up with an answer (which is either "do you smell carrots?" or "drop your pants, here comes the snowblower," or "freeze!" depending on who you ask). Locke says, as nonchalantly as he can, that he has no idea what Desmond's on about. Desmond raises the rifle again, tightening his grip, and orders Locke to throw down the knife. "You're not him," he says.

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