Line of Fire
Undercover Angel

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Undercover Angel

Credits. Dear Jeffrey Sams: you are hot. Love, the world.

After the ads, we fade up on Roy and Donovan, who are driving around, as they are wont to do, and making fun of poor Fingerless Leon. Donovan pulls up in front of Malloy's House of Whores and tells Roy that he's about to meet his wife, so he'd best be on his most polite behavior. Yes, this episode was clearly supposed to be after the pilot and before last week, because last week, Roy already knew Jada. Anyway.

Bambi sits in the living room of the House of Whores, drinking coffee and thinking about how she has sex for money. Jada asks Donovan why he's got blood all over his shirt, and he tells her not to worry her pretty little head about it, as he hangs up their dry-cleaning. Jada -- who is, really, just lovely -- introduces herself to Roy. "Long time, Roy," Bambi calls from the sofa. "Bambi. Holy shit," Roy says. Or, at least, that's what it sounded like until I turned on the closed captioning. He actually said, "Bambi. Early shift." Bambi smiles a little. "Double shift," she tells him. "You have no idea how much bone I've had in me over the last few hours." Or, you know, something along those lines. Donovan announces that they've got to go. Jada reminds him that they've got a meeting with Malloy later. "Nice meeting you, Roy," she says. "Yes, ma'am. It's real clean in here," Roy drawls. "Thank you for noticing," Jada sort of chuckles. "Bye, guys," Bambi calls cheerfully.

Malloy Manor. Malloy trudges into the bedroom and switches on SportsCenter. I do respect a man who loves his sports. I don't, however, love a man who ignores a girl in lacy, expensive undergarments, especially when she's his wife. And this is exactly what Malloy does until Janet literally waves a stockinged toe in his face. He appears completely unmoved by her beautiful Cosabella underthings. Whoever is doing the Lingerie Wardrobe on this show has got wonderful taste. "Twenty-four-hour sports. A reason to believe in God," Malloy says. And I agree with that. But, thanks to my personal love of frills and bows, I also think that pretty undies are a reason to believe in God, so I am torn by the dynamics of this scene. Malloy finally looks at Janet. "You're not going to wear that," Malloy announces, glancing at a slinky dress laid out on the bed. Janet whines that it's cute; Malloy snipes that it's revealing. Janet -- who appears to have had a total spinectomy between this episode and last week's episode, which I believe can be explained by the fact that the episodes have been flipped, although that makes it no less irritating -- whimpers that she loves that dress, but Malloy tells her that it's not appropriate for a meeting with "Evangeline Mattington," and tells her to wear the other one. Janet pouts, and he leads her into their gorgeous walk-in closet and directs her to wear a matronly flowered number. "It's very...Hillary," he explains. Irritatingly, Janet just giggles. Is she schizophrenic? She thanks him for "taking [her] political aspirations into account," and he totally lays into her, telling her that this is important, and her attitude isn't helping. And Janet just folds, apologizing profusely. "If we get membership, this is important to us. Gets us contacts that we need. You get into the Daughters of Virginia; we get into the Country Club. It's like an automatic," Malloy grits. Janet sniffles and promises not to let him down. Well, this is a healthy relationship.

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Line of Fire

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