Line of Fire
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Jessica: C- | Grade It Now!
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Pilot

Review board. Old Man in a Suit tells Paige that this is "a pretty flagrant violation." "I guess so, but I passed," Paige bitches. Nice respect for authority, trampwad. "That's what I'm supposed to do," Paige adds. Suit tells her that her skills are "top-notch," but that she's never going to make it in the FBI acting like "some kind of lone ranger." No kidding. Look at poor Agent Mulder. He was always getting killed, getting fired, getting suspended, getting fired, getting killed, getting abducted, or getting suspended. "No shit," mutters my Agent Mulder action figure. At least Agent Mulder was amusing and charming, if overly likely to lose his gun. Paige really doesn't have any redeeming qualities. Suit notes that Paige seems to have "some kind of open hostility toward authority figures, and that's not good." Paige agrees that, given her past behavior, this is hard to argue with: "But I can work at it. I can change." Well, clearly, Paige, you can't, if you've been acting like this for a while and you'll still pulling this stupid shit. "I want to be here. Sir, with all my heart I want to be here," Paige tells him. "Why?" Suit asks. And here we go. "I'm here because of my husband Jake," Paige says. Suit asks if he's in the Bureau, and Paige announces that he was in the Pentagon on September 11th: "He died. He'd just made commander." Okay, first of all, this totally would have been in her file when she tried to apply to Quantico. There would have been no need for this expository speech about how Paige vowed, at her dead husband's funeral, "to get those bastards." She sniffs. "I was going to get them and I was going to make them pay." And if she ever managed to talk her way into the FBI, this is where she would get drummed out. I understand that she's got some issues due to her husband's death. Of course she does; that's natural. But those are issues that should be addressed in therapy, not at work. Paige has a personal vendetta, it will cloud her judgment and she would never ever have passed the psych eval with this on her record. Moreover, because she is such a nasty, unlikable character, this revelation feels like a shameless ploy to make her sympathetic. But because of the way this character has been written up to this point, she's not an interesting woman with a horrible tragedy in her past, but rather an asshole that we kinda feel like we're not allowed to hate now, but we do anyway, and that makes us hate her more. The September 11th card is a hard one to play, and I think it misfired here. It borders slightly on tastelessness, and although I don't think the show's Powers That Be have crossed that line, it's a delicate balance and, frankly, I think Paige's characterization is off all across the board. Anyway, Paige continues, saying that this is the only place that she can keep that promise to her husband. Except, um, the CIA. But whatever. That's another show. A better one. She's practically daring the Suit to kick her out, after this sad tale. Suit wonders if she knows it could be years before she can "go counterterrorism." Paige nods. "But there are plenty of other bad guys to go after in the meantime. I don't mind screwing around with them while I'm waiting to indulge my own personal vendetta, probably getting a bunch of other people's spouses killed in the meantime."

Roy and Donovan are out driving around and very conveniently happen across Crazy Jazz, hanging out on his porch in broar daylight, and this is when I knew Roy was actually a Fed. Whoops, did I ruin that reveal for you? Sorry. Anyway. Roy sees Crazy Jazz, confirms with Donovan that he is, in fact, Crazy Jazz, and leaps out of the car and plugs both Crazy Jazz and a woman who saw the whole thing. Then he leaps back in the car and they drive off. Donovan is freaking out, saying that they're going to end up in the joint again. Roy is unconcerned about this, even after Donovan tells him that this isn't the way they do things around here. "You got your ways, I got mine," Roy remarks calmly. Donovan yells and yells about how this was totally crazy and what's wrong with Roy and blah blah blah blah. "Whatever," Roy says lightly. I sort of love Roy. I would love him even if he was a real killer. He finally apologizes half-assedly. "Now I gotta see what Malloy has to say," Donovan whines. And we go to commercial. On that? You're kidding me. Again, a soft, soft act-out. You obviously go out on Roy shooting the woman with the groceries and then speeding away. I can't believe ABC didn't give notes on these act-outs, because they are really weak.

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Line of Fire

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