Life Unexpected

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Smoke & Minors
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: Nobody wanted serial foster kid Lux, so she had to track down her birth parents -- bar owner Baze and radio personality Cate -- to secure her freedom from leering ginger foster brothers. Portland's meanest judge called Lux out on a technicality. Lux found herself homeless, and Cate (who is engaged to her co-host Ryan) literally stumbled upon her after a shamefully reminiscent one-night stand with Baze. Cate decided to make things right and took Lux in. There was birthday cake. Everybody wins!

Dreary Portland. Cate takes her daily 5 a.m. run. The cellulite isn't going to keep itself at bay, you know. Meanwhile, Baze and his buddies play beer pong. Cate cooks and bakes and does all things domestic. Those clich├ęs aren't going to manifest themselves, you know. Baze kicks ass at beer pong. Cate fails at making French toast... which I made successfully (many times) in my seventh grade Home Ec class. Seriously? We learn that Cate is in a Frenchy frenzy because Lux's caseworker is coming tomorrow. She worries that her inability to bake will disqualify her from getting the "MOM" stamp of approval. Well, not having a flaming home probably goes a bit farther than foiled attempts at cookie making... so there's that. Ryan mercifully tries to pacify her, but she finds something new to worry about -- that ol' good-for-naught, baby-makin', beer-swillin' Baze. He has to get the stamp of approval, too. Ryan deflects her anxiety by teasing her about her "hot soccer mom" hair. He thinks the stability in her life from their engagement will also help with the caseworker. Not satisfied to have even a second that isn't utterly uptight, she moans that the dynamic of their show doesn't lend itself to their getting married. Speaking of the show, they need to head to the station. Cate rouses Lux to say goodbye. Cate has all the bases covered -- except she's forgotten to secure Lux a ride to school.

Cut to Baze's bar. He picks up his phone and gives an entirely too enthusiastic (read: drunk) "Heeeeeey!" Cate asks for a ride, which Baze is more than happy to give... just not today. Cate immediately starts talking shit about him to Ryan, all of which he hears but will probably be too drunk to remember anyway. Hey, I have an idea! Let's have the drunk guy drive a 16-year-old to school! Cate is on board, y'all. So Baze hems and haws about how hard he's been "working" and how he has to get ready for the social worker's visit. Of course he doesn't even have the day right. It's today, not tomorrow. Even his wasted bros know that. Cate takes it to the serious place, telling Baze he needs to get his bidness together, starting with the lotion on the nightstand. She says there is no way they're losing Lux over his fuckery. Baze pulls it together. For now. By which I mean he's cognizant enough to know that his ex, Jogger Bra Tracy, is completely unwilling to help with his 16-year-old screw-up and to ask if anyone is sober enough to drive Lux to school. Cut to several hours later. Lux is waiting on Cate's front porch like poor little Manny in Modern Family, but with snazzier shoelaces. Moments later Baze and his bro show up in a cab, screaming like football hooligans.

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Life Unexpected

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