Las Vegas
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Episode Report Card
Sobell: B+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Danke Schoen, Wayne

Danny picks that moment to appear and ask what's going on. Nessa wordlessly hands him a chip, and he says, "These are counterfeit." We know, Danny. Take notes! We don't have time to keep tracking back and explaining to you. Anyway, Delinda repeats that she was trying to do someone a favor, then asks, "We don't have to tell Daddy, do we?" Danny gives her a look like, I can't believe I slept with you and didn't get a sexually transmitted case of the stupids, and then grins before pointing out the surveillance camera above their heads. His grins gets even bigger, and he holds up a luridly magenta chip to the camera.

We zoom up to the security office, where Big Ed is watching the screen. Delinda gives him a resigned look. From the camera angle she's at, she's all square jaw and arched eyebrows, and the unexpected Jessica Simpson-like resemblance makes me if there's some sort of bizarre connection. Big Ed grimaces, just as he always does when Delinda screws up.

And then Elvis asks us to stop with the yip-yap and get down to action.

Commercial time! Good God, but Ed looks a zombie show. Someone hunt down Marie Laveau's descendants and ask them to lift the curse and let the poor thing rest in peace.

Once we're back, Delinda's curled up on the couch in Big Ed's office, listening to Danny crow about the many ways in which it's totally obvious the chips were fake. Big Ed catches a chip, looks at it, and then says, as if Delinda's stupidity is causing him great pain, "I'm your father, I work in a casino. And you took chips that look like they were made by a zoo animal." Oh, Big Ed, it'll be okay. Danny giggles a little. Delinda tries to give him a look, but she's also got to concentrate on giving her daddy the right blend of defensiveness and contrition. Big Ed continues, "Now, how do you think that makes me look? A -- good. B -- not so good." Delinda shoots back, "I'm sorry! You never invited me to Take Your Daughter to Work Day!" Nice one. Big Ed counters that Delinda was off doing Europe. Delinda shoots back, "You were the one who thought I needed an education." Big Ed gets the last word with, "Exactly, so you could be taken by some two-bit hustler in the ladies' lounge of my casino. Money well spent, I see." Delinda's sitting on the couch with her arms crossed, sulking about how all Big Ed has to do is check the security cameras. Danny points out that there aren't any cameras in the bathrooms. There's a certain segment of the audience that will be disappointed with that.

Delinda asks what happens now. Big Ed makes like he doesn't understand, as opposed to saying, "What happens is that you're $400 bucks poorer and wiser. Think of it as one percent interest on the money I spent on your education." Delinda snaps, "Aren't you going to sic Boy Wonder here on her?" Another good one! Big Ed points out that Crazy/Don't went on her merry scheming way and yes, Delinda is $400 bucks poorer and wiser. Delinda sulks as she thinks about all the gallons of fake-bake those benjamins could have brought her. Danny leans in and says all smugly, "Try not to be so gullible next time." Rich words coming from someone who either didn't ask Delinda her last name before humping her or didn't realize Delinda and Big Ed Deline might have a connection. Delinda, unfortunately, gets unnecessarily crass in her response: "You thought sleeping together meant I loved you." There are ways to put that which are equally insulting without being so rude, you know? ["Or so banal. Cram it, Duh-linda." -- Sars] Delinda heads out by offering to set Danny up with a few of her friends, but Danny doesn't take pity fix-ups from exes.

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Las Vegas

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