Las Vegas
Pros And Cons

Episode Report Card
Sobell: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Danke Schoen, Wayne

Fortunately, the fashion Don't asked her question of Delinda, so good judgment isn't really an obstacle to finishing the conversation. After Delinda makes the one smart response to the "My boyfriend's trying to kill me! Woe!" revelation ("Maybe we should call the police?"), she's quickly swayed by the Crazy. For those of you unfamiliar with the Crazy, it's what presents elaborate, conditional situations in which the most logical solution is to be avoided at all costs. Clear and effective courses of action are out of the question, because that would require the Crazy to either ditch the high drama revolving around him or her, or sack up and take responsibility. The Crazy cannot be stopped, and it cannot be contained; your only option is to back away slowly from the Crazy before it infects you.

Anyway, Little Miss Don't -- who also appears to have taken all those fashion mags exhorting a smoky eye for Fall 2003 a little too much to heart -- quickly spins a tale of psycho boyfriends who can be put off if Delinda will cash in this person's casino chips. Instead of saying, "You're on. Meet me in 25 minutes at Club Mystique and I'll give you your cash," Delinda the security chief's daughter makes a mystaque and offers to buy the chips off the Crazy. As the Crazy hands over the chips, we see a small red heart tattooed on the juncture between her thumb and her index finger. Also, we see that Miss Crazy/Don't is wearing Chanel Vamp, possibly in homage to the heady mid-nineties 90210 run when Donna Martin was sporting it in between thrashings from her no-talent boyfriend Ray the musician. Anyway, Delinda hands out relationship advice. If this show had a Greek chorus, this would be where they start chanting about situational irony.

So then Delinda's sauntering across the floor with a big plastic cup full of chips. She and Nessa greet each other warmly, and then Nessa checks the cup and says haltingly, "Employees aren't supposed to gamble while they're working." Wouldn't this be something you wouldn't have to tell Delinda, what with her being the security chief's daughter? Anyway, Delinda blithely says that she's cashing the chips in for "a friend," and Nessa examines the chips. They look like they were whittled by someone who had never actually been inside a casino. How on earth did Delinda miss this? Nessa calls for Danny, then asks Delinda where her friend got them. Delinda's all flustered as she replies, "I don't know. I thought here." See? The Crazy clouds everyone's thought processes while it happens.

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Las Vegas

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