Kitchen Nightmares
The Mixing Bowl

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B | 2 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
The Mixing Bowl

He then takes Billy the Mute to the kitchen and has a salmon and fennel cook-off with him. Side-by-side, they create two very different dishes, spurred on only by their creativity and competitive spirit. They have thirty minutes to "keep it fresh and healthy." During the cooking, Ramsay boggles at how silent Billy is and wonders if he communicates with his wife only through email. After the thirty minutes are over, Billy has a seared salmon with ginger-balsamic drizzle, and Ramsay has a vegetable stock-poached salmon topped with walnut pesto. Both are served with asparagus spears fanned out like the setting sunbeams in every single one of my childhood drawings. Ramsay proclaims both of them good enough to be put on the new menu. Frankly, while I'm sure Ramsay's salmon was impeccable and probably tasted amazing, it looked awfully anemic in color.

Phase Two of the process has the restaurant filling up with customers all hungry for the new salmon dishes. Mike the Manager is up to his old tricks as he asks incoming customers if they have reservations. He's totally That Guy who looks you up and down, glares down at his book or computer screen, pokes a few things, writes a few words, and then pointedly asks, "Do you have reservations?" And you are that person who is scared to death, not because of his snooty attitude, but because you're wondering if you're the only one who can't see another human being in the entire restaurant and if it's all because of that mangy old burrito you had for lunch. As Mike sits down with yet another group of customers, Ramsay tells us that, just like Martin, Mike is yet another manager who is using his position in the restaurant to feed his ego. The entire staff is fed up with Mike because he does very little and takes half the tips. At the end of the night, the staff has it out with Mike in front of Ramsay. Mike gets defensive and yells back, and Ramsay sits down with his mug of French Roasted whup-ass and goes off on Mike for acting like he owns the place. Ramsay also goes off on Billy for using his spine as a pot rack and Lisa for not speaking her mind. So, Lisa speaks her mind, Mike yells at her, and THIS gets Billy to open his mouth and start giving orders. Ramsay gives him props for finally sounding like a boss.

The next day, the staff arrives to a completely redecorated restaurant. The place looks amazing. It went from food court to Hampton Court. There are square boxed candles on the walls, plush armchairs that probably cost more than my rent, and delicate vases with single tulips inclined at the perfect graceful angle. If only Gordon would do something about those tacky black polo shirts. I swear, the shiny gold thread is better suited to a casino called "Lucky!" The interior overhaul is too much for Mike and he starts crying. Ramsay rolls his eyes and calls for tissues. As Ramsay goes over the lighter and brighter menu with the staff, Billy is stoked to get his restaurant back on track. Ramsay next takes Lisa and Mike around the neighborhood to canvass for the restaurant's reopening. They visit nail salons, gyms, and even get a local arena football team called the New York Dragons involved.

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Kitchen Nightmares

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