Kell on Earth

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There's No Tweeting in Fashion!

Okay, so Fashion Week is finally over; it's time to relax! Right? Um, kinda? London Fashion Week looms in the near distance, but there's also an Alternative Apparel press event scheduled for the upcoming weekend, which is billed as a kind of unwinding opportunity for press, designers, and lowly PR folk like Kelly's band of street urchins.

So at least THAT sounds relaxing, right? Ah, but then we see the event has been put in the incredibly capable hands of Stephanie Vorhees. And this week, Vorhees is joined by the heretofore unseen (or at least unnamed) Elide. Given Elide's previous invisibility, sudden prominence, and (to get a bit ahead of ourselves) eventual fate, she's kind of the Nikki and Paolo of Kell on Earth.

Anyway, Kelly's already not so fond of Elide (she chews her out for not helping Vorhees out enough), but at the A.A. event, both girls earn Kelly's ire for drinking and carousing rather than working. And Kelly certainly has a point that senior staff has earned a relaxing weekend, while assistants like Vorhees and Elide should be working. But still, statements like "The goal is to sell clothes... does anybody remember why we're here?" ring the eensiest bit false when delivered in a bright, colorful Native American headdress.

Things get even worse on Monday back at the People's Revolution offices, as the tabloids are reporting a break-in at one of the event buildings and the absconding of precious booze. The paper alludes to the thief, and Vorhees (...I think -- it's way funnier if it was) immediately is like, "Oh yeah, Elide knows him." Robyn and Emily are pissed -- because, hello, it's a weekday -- and they run around the office nearly jumping up and down because Kelly's gonna let them fire Elide. I have to figure Elide had been on crazily thin ice before this point, because given the massive screw-ups we've seen throughout People's Rev, knowing a guy who stole booze doesn't entirely rate. But still, Robyn and Emily call Elide up to the dread 5th Floor and drop the hammer on her. Firing employees is "never easy," says Robyn. Oh, LIAR, you loved every second of it.

As for the employees we actually like, we see Skinner and the Andrews (Pale and Orange) deal with an unruly printer. Pale Andrew interviews that Orange Andrew isn't exactly on his same wavelength, personality-wise, with his tanning and his flaming demeanor and his Britney tats. ...What's that? Yes, Orange Andrew has decided to display his allegiance to Ms. Spears indelibly on his body. Naturally, he chose the most enduring thing about Britney: her lyrics. "Stronger than yesterday" is on one wrist, while "Now it's nothing but my way" is on the other. You guys, I am so relieved. I was worried the "Boy don't try to front" and "I-I know just-just what you are-are-are" tats on the back of my calves were gonna be made less special.

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Kell on Earth

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