Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

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A Star-Studded Spectacular

In the limo, Kathy calls her mom to tell her the news, but before she can get the words out, her mom congratulates her. It turns out that Kathy's mom knows about the Internet. Curses! Kathy asks her mom if she'll help with the campaigning, and the answer, of course, is "If I have to, sure." Yes, she has to, or Kathy will cut her health insurance. And then Maggie (I get tired of calling her "Kathy's mom" all the time) starts talking about her will and having Tiffany do something, and Kathy freaks out about being on camera and shuts the conversation down.

Now we're into the part of the show where Kathy tries to round up Grammy votes. This will involve her housekeeper, but as soon as we meet her and learn that her name is "Minerva", we're told that she's changed it to "Hormisda". In an interview, she explains (in Spanish, which is translated for us) that the only reason Kathy calls her Minerva is that she couldn't pronounce her real name and just gave up and started calling her by the name of her previous housekeeper. Suddenly Kathy is Lucille Bluth? Anyway, Kathy's plan is for Hormisda to get her the Latino vote, because she speaks Spanish. This is a stupid plan, and it's a bit racist. But let's see where it goes.

Team Griffin (Tom, Tiffany, Maggie, and I guess Hormisda now) are sitting at the kitchen counter with a speech ("Hello [FAMOUS CELEBRITY], My name is [INSERT YOUR NAME, etc." Hormisda's is in Spanish. Kathy interviews about how important it is that she get a Grammy (it's a better cause than polio) and we're off to a montage of celebrity-bothering. Jon Bon Jovi! Chaka Khan! Maggie calls Wynonna Judd! Isn't she just "Wynonna" now? Wynonna doesn't know who "beloved comic Kathy Griffin" is and wants to know how her phone number got on this list. Maggie doesn't do a great job of selling Kathy, admitting that one of the other nominees in the category of Comedy Album is George Carlin. You know, the brilliant, seminal comedian who just died? Kathy interviews that she realizes that Carlin is both the sentimental favorite and better than her, but she still wants to win. Finally, Wynonna says, "There's only room for one redhead at the Grammys" and hangs up.

Tom gets Little Richard on the phone, and it's a lot of Whoo!ing. Little Richard claims to be voting for Big Maybelle. I'm going to be honest here: I'm not sure Big Maybelle is on the ballot, what with having died in 1972. And it says here that she's already in the Grammy Hall of Fame. Plus, she was more "blues" than "comedy". Kathy admits that the campaigning isn't going too well, since people are mostly unaware of the comedy category or are already planning on voting for George Carlin.

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Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

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