Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B- | Grade It Now!
Kathy Went Down to Georgie

It's the day before the actual Grammy awards, and Kathy is testing her acceptance speeches on her mother. Maggie is a little skeptical about Kathy's plan to let loose a little more than she did on the Emmy show. Kathy's theory is that the music industry is more accepting than television, so if she wins, she can just bust out with Carlin's Seven Words right there in her speech. Maggie looks physically injured by Kathy's torrent of obscenity and recommends a more traditional acceptance speech, heavier on the "thank you"s. Kathy mentions that if she loses, her plan s to basically say "[bleep] you, Jesus, and the horse you [bleep]in' flew in on." Maggie would be proud of Kathy if she would congratulate the winner (although Kathy points out that everyone knows it's going to be George Carlin, who is a little too dead to be accepting congratulations). Then there is a little discussion of the way Maggie says "offend", which somehow ends up with Kathy saying "Who wants to be fisted, bitches?" Maggie claims that Kathy is really a very nice person, although Kathy says she learned all that cursing from Maggie "and the church."

Kathy's got a dress and some fancy new hair on. She claims to have some makeup on her vagina. I know you didn't want to know that, but if I had to hear it, you have to read about it. That's how this works. There's a frenzy of makeup and dress and jewelry and whatnot, while the sound effects people play NASCAR noises. Kathy practices some moves with Tom so that he'll know to catch her clutch when she throws it aside for a spontaneous pose, and they're off!

Kathy explains that she's in an evening dress in the middle of the day because her category is given away at noon, not during prime time with the big-time awards. Naturally, she calls her awards show the Shmammys. But she still has a limo and a red carpet. And because she's the biggest star there, she gets a great deal of squealy attention from the crowd. Kathy has to wait through the Best Polka Album until her category finally arrives. Best Comedy Album! She's up against Lewis Black, Flight of the Conchords, Harry Shearer and Comedy Legend George Carlin, Who Died Recently. Guess who wins!

We get a black and white retrospective of the Grammy-related events of the last two episodes. What a long journey it's been. But Carlin wins, of course. Kathy doesn't act out and flip everyone off, presumably because she has a great deal of respect for George Carlin. I mean, it's not that funny, but c'mon. It's Carlin.

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Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List




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