Everybody's favorite marshal decides to get rid of his girlfriend's MMA-style husband by strongly recommending that he head off to Florida. When that doesn't work, they promise to meet behind the bleachers after gym class to pummel each other.
Meanwhile, Boyd tries to bribe Preacher Billy's pesky church into leaving, but instead of going to Billy, Boyd heads straight to sister Cassie, thinking that she is the brains behind the operation. However she doesn't think Boyd's offering is nearly enough to get them to move. She's not opposed to moving, she just wants mo' money. So Boyd decides to try a different tact: Guns. Boyd sends Colton and some other dude to drive out the church with firepower. Instead Boyd's man goes down getting attacked by snake after snake until one gets him right in the face. Colton brings him back to Boyd's, black and blue and with half a snake embedded in his cheek. They decide a doctor might be in order.
Rachel is in trouble with her boss for single-handedly apprehending a violent fugitive, which she totally learned from Raylan. As she goes to Time Out, Art tells Raylan that Drew Thompson (a.k.a. the guy who was supposed to be dead after pancake-ing in Harlan County) was wanted on a sealed federal witness warrant before he died. Well, faked his death. Raylan and Tim are tasked with telling his widow that Drew's not actually dead.
Meanwhile Johnny is branching out on his own and trying to make a deal with Wynn Duffy. But Wynn's not looking for a partner and Johnny's not just interested in breaking into the Dixie Mafia heroin business. Turns out Johnny is holding a serious grudge against Boyd for putting him in a wheelchair all those years ago. So he offers to help Duffy kill Boyd. Needless to say, Duffy is intrigued. Also needless to say, Duffy's hair is Sun-In-alicious.
Raylan and Tim tell Drew's widow that Drew is still alive, but turns out she's a psychic who knows a thing or two and definitely knew that Drew was alive. Then she proves her psychic skills by outing Raylan's plan to fist fight with Lindsay's husband. Just as the marshals are starting to get somewhere with the widow, an FBI agent shows up, which causes the lovely widow to jump out a bathroom window. As she's running from the FBI, she gets nabbed by a man in a leather jacket who also has a ponytail and a tiny beard and is thus, clearly, a bad guy. The FBI guy follows the marshals back to their office in order to try and take over the case, using the fact that the psychic widow ran as evidence of their incompetence. Raylan thinks something is suspicious, though, and his misgivings (mis-Givens?) are proven true when the so-called FBI guy calls the kidnapper and it's clear they are working together. The kidnapper, who also has neck tattoo to prove he's up to no good, works over the widow in a motel room until she gives up Drew.
The doctor really wants to take Boyd's man to the hospital, but Boyd realizes that the guy has been alive so long, the snakes must have had their venom removed.
Raylan heads to the gym for his rendezvous with the MMA guy, only to find that he's cleaned out his locker and left. Raylan laughingly comes out of the gym, only to run into the FBI guy who just got a tip from the kidnapper that Drew was in there. Raylan puts the pieces together pretty quickly and realizes that the guy is in on the kidnapping. The FBI man knows the gig is up and after telling Raylan that his partners will kill him and his family if he turns on them, he tells Raylan where the woman is being held. Then he shoots himself in the head.
The marshals bust in just as the kidnapper is about to torture the widow some more. Art has joined the party and tells her that the kidnapper was part of a Detroit mob outfit. If she tells them what she knows about Drew, they will protect her. She claims that the only thing Drew told her was that for all intents and purposes he was dead. Art calls it bullshit, because he's Art and this is FX after 10 PM ET. She finally admits that she knows why Drew was in hiding: He witnessed a Detroit gangster kill a government informant. That's good enough for Art who promises to station two men outside her house for protection.
Boyd heads to church, where Preacher Billy calls him out for breaking and entering and getting bit by a bunch of snakes. But this time Boyd has a prop: a real live snake in a box, a snake that wasn't milked of its venom. Preacher Billy didn't know what his sister was doing, so she has no choice but to stop him before he gets bit. But Preacher Billy believes Jesus will protect him from the snake venom. So he grabs the snakes …and immediately gets bit and poisoned. Boyd leaves looking more than a little guilty.
Raylan finally realizes that Lindsay ran off with her husband. Line forms to the left to comfort him in his time of need.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Welcome back to Harlan County, where the pushers are prettier than the preachers, pastors welcome prostitutes, the church folk have no qualms about shaking down the dealers and the prostitutes clean up real nice for Wednesday night services. When last we saw Boyd and his posse, they were getting mighty hot under the collar about the word of God moving into their backyard and saving all the troubled souls of their Oxycontin-buying clientele. Boyd and his ruffians tried asking the preacher and his sharp-eyed sister to move on out of town, but the Lord moves in mysterious ways that are determined to make Boyd part with some of his hard-earned dirty money. So Boyd returns to the tents of the evangelists -- not to watch, in the words of the preacher himself, "the hillbilly with the snakes" -- but to bribe the smartypants sister with a duffle bag full of cold hard cash. While I, for one, would be extremely excited to have someone offer me a bag of money (take note, Santa Claus) with the only stipulation being that I move out of Harlan County, the eel-eyed sister is not nearly as craven as I am. (She also has better hair, and I'm almost convinced the too are connected.) She thinks her beloved brother Billy deserves a proper church in which to manhandle irate reptiles. Perhaps wall-to-wall carpeting and solid oak pews would help soothe their savage souls and make them less likely to get all nippy with or without the power of Christ keeping them calm. If Boyd wants them to move, he needs to build them a proper church. And church-building money wouldn't fit in a duffle bag. Well, not until President Obama decides whether or not to mint the trillion-dollar coin. A trillion-dollar coin would easily fit in a duffle bag. At any rate, Boyd isn't willing to pay for a brick-and-mortar operation when he has Plan B. And with Boyd, Plan B is always guns. Sometimes Plan A is guns, too.
Raylan Givens is a lot of things... and a sucker for a pretty lady is definitely one of them. So even when it turns out that his girlfriend du jour, Lindsey, is married to a man roughly the size of a Volkswagen Beetle, he's likely to believe almost any story she tells him, so long as they can make amends the old fashioned way. When Lindsey knocks on Raylan's door, her tail is tucked between her legs and her clothes are extra tight, so there's little doubt that Raylan will be paying extra close attention to whatever sob story she tells him. She starts by saying that despite the fact that Randall called her his wife, she divorced him last time he went to prison. (By prison I assume she means Grey's Anatomy, where Randall played Dr. Charles Percy until he was shot down during the Great Grey's Massacre of '10.) Then Lindsay confesses that she and Randall used to be not only husband and wife, but accomplices, too. She would get close to men, find out what they had that was worth stealing and then Randall would take it. It was all simple and brutally effective until Randall decided that he didn't like his woman rubbing up on strange men and beat some guy to the brink of death. He went to jail and Lindsey got divorced and hooked up with Raylan. She hoped by telling him this sad story, he would forgive her trespasses and let her trespass on him a bit more if you know what I mean... and I think you do, especially when she takes off her shirt mid-apology. Raylan is so eager to agree with her that he looks like a damn bobblehead.
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