Judging Amy
Witch Hunt

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Witch Hunt

Amy is walking Lauren to school, and still trying to talk her into the whole Halloween thing. I have to say, whoever did the casting here did a good job. They look like mother and daughter to me -- more so, for example, than Ruthie and Mrs. Camden on 7th Heaven do. After trying to talk Lauren into being a cowgirl for Halloween and getting rebuffed yet again, Amy FINALLY just asks Lauren what's wrong. Lauren responds with the classic "nothing," and asks Amy if she can get her hair cut, because she's tired of long hair. Amy freaks. See, because Lauren, as Amy's daughter, is a reflection of Amy herself, and Amy has long hair and Lauren has long hair, and if Lauren cuts her hair, what will that mean about their relationship and, more importantly, about Amy herself? Also, will it sap all of Lauren's strength, making the temple fall to ruins about them? Wait, that's someone else. Anyway, Amy, who is wearing her own hair in this crazy braids criss-crossed on top of the head Fraulein-Maria do, just tells Lauren no, because her hair is beautiful. Amy, are you really talking about hair? Or about the fragile relationship between a mother and her daughter? Lauren eyes The Bully, who is lolling around on the steps of the school, as Amy begs her again to tell Mommy what's bothering her. Lauren just asks Amy to think about the haircut thing. Amy promises that she will, and Lauren trudges into school without taking Amy up on her proferred kiss. Denied! Wait until she's seventeen and missing her curfew, running around with some ne'er-do-well from the wrong side of the tracks, Amy. Then you'll wish her hair was all you had to worry about.

Maxine approaches a nice, two-storey house, briefcase in hand. As a sidebar -- I recognize that house! I used to drive by it on the way to school in the morning! I guess Judging Amy films in southern California. Anyway, back to our feisty older -- but not OLD -- heroine. Inside the house, Ma Compson complains about how hurtful it is to have their home invaded this way, especially since they pay so much in taxes. I fail to see what either of those things has to do with the other, and, clearly, so does Maxine, as she points out that DCF doesn't get to choose who they investigate, but that they do have to follow up on all reports. She pulls a little Mary Beth Lacey out of the old bag of tricks as she toughly reminds Ma Compson that this is not her family's first run-in with DCF. Ma Compson is in the midst of getting all defensive when the Compson Girl, Theresa, trudges into the living room. Maybe I'm only used to seeing attractive people on TV, but this entire family looks awful. Doesn't anyone on this show wash their hair? It's like that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry's building has low-flow shower heads installed and he and Kramer are walking around with really flat hair. Except without the funny. Maxine asks why Theresa is not in school. Mrs. Compson blames it on Theresa's wicked harsh asthma. Maxine tells the Compson women that the school nurse is concerned about some bruises on Theresa's body. Theresa resorts to the old stand-by of "I bruise easy." Dude, anyone who's ever watched ER knows that's got to be a lie. I'd like to see Doug Ross let that one slide. Ma Compson explains that Theresa's "got thin skin. It's hereditary." Maxine looks unconvinced as Pa Compson trudges down the stairs, all dolled up in his jammies. ["Not that there's anything wrong with that. -- Wing Chun, typing this in her pyjamas at 4:43 PM] Ma Compson tries to convince Maxine that Pa Compson is not a total layabout by explaining that he works nights and he always gets up at this time of day. Maxine smiles patronizingly and asks about their son, Kenneth. He's in school. Then Maxine whips out the big guns and asks about the third, mystery child. Ma Compson denies that they have another child. Maxine reminds Ma Compson that she was on the case the last time DCF investigated her family, and that she distinctly remembers another boy, named Timothy. Theresa looks like she's going to barf as Ma Compson tries to convince Maxine that she must be thinking of one of the neighbor kids. "Maybe so," Maxine says. Nice try, Ma Compson, but you have no idea who you're up against.

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Judging Amy

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