Judging Amy
Witch Hunt

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Witch Hunt

Back in court, Featherstone's lawyer calls a representative of the Wiccan Anti-Defamation League, who tells Amy that she is not willing to take up Featherstone's cause. D'oh! As far as the WADL is concerned, Featherstone is "a bad witch." I wonder if that means she has flying monkeys and a really big hourglass at home. Because those monkeys are scary. No child should be raised in a household with monkeys like that, flying around and kidnapping little dogs and girls from Kansas.

Maxine digs though the Compson family birth records. There is no record of a younger son, but the librarian tells her that there are lots of reasons why someone wouldn't have a record of birth -- especially if the parents are "paranoid types."

Amy is right in the midst of telling Bruce that she's ready to dismiss the case. Bruce looks like he's kind of listening to her yammer, but mostly thinking about other things, like his dry cleaning. They run into Featherstone camped out at Amy's office door. Featherstone tells Amy that she's decided to surrender her parental rights. Amy -- whose pink suit is really cute, by the way -- tries to talk Featherstone out of it. But Featherstone just got fired from her job, her own congregation has turned their back on her, she's getting hate mail, crank calls, people are vandalizing her car. Things basically just suck. Amy frantically tries to convince Featherstone to tough it out; promising her an around-the-clock guard, police protection, the use of her own personal hairbrush, but Featherstone won't have it. She has a mini-breakdown and tells Amy that Evan is safer if she isn't his mother anymore, because she's thinks she's such a weirdo. Amy tells her that she's going to pretend they never had this conversation, and commands her to go home and think about what her son means to her. Featherstone cries.

Maxine tells Susie Nixon that she's sure the Compsons killed their younger son. Susie gets snippy and forbids Maxine to go back to the Compsons, threatening to arrange a restraining order personally if she has to. But Maxine will not walk away from these children, not again! She basically tells Susie that, and Susie reacts maturely by stomping off. "It's OVER!" she yells on her way out the door. Susie, I think Maxine is going to squash you like a bug one of these days.

Amy shows up at Vincent's door. He serves her a peanut butter and banana sandwich and a soda. Nice to see that Vincent eats like Elvis. He gives Amy a quick rundown of the Hillary situation, but explains that he isn't going to sign the contract, because Hillary is one of those people who "bring down the quality of the human condition," and likens making a deal with her to making a deal with the devil. He also mentions that they shared a "tequila-related incident" in college. I assume that incident was not simply Hillary copying Vincent's story and passing it off at her own. In fact, I think he might be talking about sex. Amy, who's thought a lot about Satan recently, points out that if he lets the devil stop him, then the devil wins. Vincent just looks perplexed.

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Judging Amy

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