Judging Amy
The Persistence Of Tectonics

Episode Report Card
The Persistence Of Tectonics

Bruce arrives at the front door. Amy's been called to some crazy judicial emergency. It's the adoption case; the father's made an entrance and wants to take his baby home. Today. They jump into the Bat-Mobile!

I enjoy this commercial for Sex and the City more than this entire episode of Judging Amy.

Batman and Robin -- I mean, Bruce and Amy show up at the Adoption Family's house. Stuff happens, but no one cares, because these legal storylines are really old by this point. We know, she's a judge, we get it. If I wanted to see legal wrangling, I'd watch Law and Order. I'm looking for some hot judicial love from her Honor and Bruce, that' s what I'm tuning in for, not this boring case du jour crap. Anyway, Amy basically says that they have to consider the father's rights, and the adoption is going to have to be put on hold while they try and get it all straightened out. There is a lot of "she's our baby," and "don't take my baby," and "I want my baby" and "don't let him take our child" going on here.

Agency party. Vincent and Justin are really getting along. Justin tells Vincent that Hillary has "fixed [them] up." Of course, Vincent grimaces, and breaks the news of his non-gayness to Justin. Justin asks if he might be in denial. Vincent says he isn't in denial. Justin, who, by the way, rocks the house, calls that an "insurmountable problem." It's true.

On the way back to the Ranch, Amy wonders if Bruce would like to go somewhere and get drunk and screw. She leaves the "and screw" part unspoken, though. He demurs, saying that he would start to wonder why he's all alone on Thanksgiving, if he were to get drunk. Amy asks why, in fact, he is all alone on Thanksgiving. Apparently, Mia gets their daughter on Turkey Day, and he gets her Christmas. Amy slumps in her bucket seat and mopes. Bruce tells her to "hold onto the happy moments," because otherwise she'll lose it. I don't even know why he says that, but I think that's because I'm almost to the worm at the bottle of this bottom. I mean, the bottom of this bottle. Whatever. Amy laughs and tells Bruce how very, very much she's screwed up this year's Thanksgiving. Well, they say that knowing is half the battle. She invites Bruce over to witness the carnage at the Ranch.

Vincent storms out of the Agency Party, much to Hillary's dismay. He asks rhetorically if, just because he doesn't want to sleep with her, that makes him gay? As if! Vincent informs her that in her quest to get back at him, she humiliated a nice, innocent, person: Justin. His own agent comes over, and advises him gently to accept his homosexuality. Vincent rolls his eyes, and tells BigWig Agent that Hillary is "a bankrupt person," who will do anything to get what she wants.

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Judging Amy




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