Judging Amy
The Out-of-Towners

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The Out-of-Towners

Amy and Bruce are at dinner somewhere in Marston. He's the only person there who isn't white. Everyone's looking at them. Amy notes the obvious. Bruce doesn't want to get into it, and changes the subject by informing her that they have to go through all the medical files themselves tonight, because Marston doesn't have an organized filing system.

Back at the Ranch, Whiny Peter Cries-a-Lot is stomping around the kitchen telling Maxine that she "can not go out with this man." Maxine tells him that he always tells her not to do things, and then she does them, like, get a clue. Peter worries that Maxine's date is "one of those lurking scoundrels who prey on senior citizens." Maxine opens a bottle of wine, to fulfill the Alcohol Consumption Requirement for this scene, and wonders why Peter has such a problem believing that she's attractive to men. Peter looks at her, like, duh, and says that it's because she's his mother. Maxine points out that the reason she is his mother is because she was attractive to men. Maxine and Gillian giggle like two schoolgirls at Peter's horrified expression. Okay, two things: 1. Peter has the maturity of a fourteen-year-old boy, tops. 2. I have heard just about enough about Maxine's sex life, thank you very much!

Bruce and Amy are in the car, ostensibly returning from their meal. She starts to pry into his personal life again and asks who's babysitting Rebecca, his daughter. Bruce tells her that it's Rebecca's mother, Mia (Farrow, presumably). Amy is sort of teasing him about Mia, but Bruce is looking at her like she's a lunatic. Damn, you two, just do it and stop this endless flirtation. It's making my head hurt. In the midst of this "witty banter," they get pulled over for no good reason, which Amy interprets (probably correctly) as racial profiling. Amy pulls rank and basically tells the policeman off. Bruce, embarrassed, looks like he just wants to disappear.

Maxine and Richard Crenna are having dinner at a swankola restaurant. Maxine uses the word "wooed." Richard uses the word "sweating." I use the word "stop." They talk a bit about their deceased spouses. Maxine tells Richard that he has more hair than "[her] Edward." All is going swimmingly, until Richard's credit card is declined. He says that's impossible. He has no ATM card. He has no checkbook. He has no cash. He has no chance to score with Maxine, because she, again, has to pay. Wow, with the freeloading daughter and the con man dates, she's got all the cheapskate bases covered. Richard tells Maxine that having his credit card declined pleases him one level; it means she'll have to see him again. Maxine takes a swig of her brandy and gives him a look that clearly says "don't bet on it, Mister."

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Judging Amy




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