Judging Amy
The Out-of-Towners

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The Out-of-Towners

Props to Cyber Patrol, the internet policing service which came with my computer, and which went haywire this week, preventing me from accessing the internet, period, including my email and Cyber Patrol's own site. Oh wait. No props at all. Anti-props. Bastards.

Halls of Justice. Amy is all slumping back in her chair, sans robe, chewing on what appears to be a jawbreaker. Look what's happened in the two weeks since we've been gone -- a total breakdown of the judicial system. Lawyers Dobson and Zaccaro are arguing the fate of a thirteen-year-old cocaine dealer; Dobson wants to allow him to move to Puerto Rico with his mother, Zaccaro wants to send him to the pokey. The lawyers bicker a bit, but eventually Zaccaro agrees to Dobson's request. Her only condition is that Amy treat the dealer to one of her "rants" before turning him over to his mother. Amy, in the midst of putting her robes back on, looks askance at this, probably wondering if Zaccaro has confused her with Maxine. Donna shoots Amy a nervous look. Zaccaro corrects herself. "One of your lectures," she says. Amy asks Zacarro whether this is some kind of joke, but Zaccaro assures her that it is not. "You get a kind of hectoring tone in your voice when you really getting going," she explains, twirling her left arm like an extra in the Devo "Whip It" video. "It really registers with these kids." Donna gives Amy a "well, it's true" look and Amy kind of wrinkles her noses and says she'll see what she can do. They go back on the record and call the kid and his mother into the courtroom. Amy gives them the good news, and at the throat-clearing reminder of Zaccaro, calls the kid to her desk. She manages, clearly hoping for divine intervention, or for inspiration from Maxine, to pull some rhetoric out of her ass about how the kid dashed his mother's hope for a new life, ruined her chances in the land of opportunity and how he must make it up to her even if it takes his entire life, blah blah blah guiltcakes. The kid breaks down in his mother's embrace. Zaccaro gives Amy the "okay" sign. Donna applauds silently. Amy gives the "so-so" hand waggle. The credits roll.

At DCF, Maxine is talking to a distraught young mother, who explains that while her husband is a good father, he beats her. Call me crazy, but I don't think that beating your children's mother is being a good father. Mrs. DelBello tells Maxine that she's frightened of what her husband will do to her if she leaves him and takes the children with her. She cries that her husband cannot know that she, Mrs. DelBello, came to DCF, because he would kill her. Maxine tells Mrs. DelBello that, somehow, she will investigate without involving her. "God bless you," Mrs. DelBello says. "You're a wonderful person." Maxine smiles smugly and nods. She's aware.

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Judging Amy

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