Judging Amy
The God Thing

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Jessica: D | Grade It Now!
The God Thing

Our blipverts this week are of a child in church. That's innovative.

At DCF, Maxine gives a little speech to the troops, about how pleased she is to be taking over the reins, and how she's sure they're equally stoked. They all look the opposite of that. Maxine starts handing out assignments and gives one folder she "no longer has time for" to Kimberly, a bratty looking blonde. Maxine delivers a big ole expository speech regarding the contents of the folder: Mrs. and Mr. McElroy are not pleased with the way the Former Mrs. McElroy is raising the Boys McElroy. Stepmother thinks The Boys, who live with their mother, are "generally neglected." Kimberly whines about having to investigate "petty marital disputes." Maxine fires her on the spot. Well, she looks as though she's considering it, anyway. Actually, she just tells her to suck it up and do it.

Halls of Justice. Thank the sweet Lord (in whom Amy does not believe), there is no custody battle on the docket this week. Instead, it's the case of Victor and Alan, two high school boys who are charged with conspiracy to commit sexual assault, and possession of illegal substances -- roofies, AKA the date rape drug. That's charming. Alan and Victor, naturally, are straight out the Central Casting file for "Rapist: Wealthy Good Old Boy -- the Early Years." You know the type; basically good looking, but not too good-looking, Abercrombie-wearing, frat-joining, high school sports playing (but not college, because this kind peaked athletically in high school and is generally real bitter about it eventually) responsibility-shrugging, spoiled brats. One of them is a redhead. I hate them already, perhaps because that's exactly the kind of guy I tend to find attractive for some aggravating reason, in real life. Except without the roofies part. Thank God. Anyhoo, Amy needs to decide if the boys ought to be transferred to "adult court, where the maximum sentence is twenty years." At this, one of the boy's mothers (I assume it's Red's, because she, too, is a redhead) bursts out that "murderers don't even get twenty years!" Amy tells her to shut up. Hey, she's not Red's mother, she's "Mimi Higgins, Alan's mother." You know she's a Delusion Society Type because the writers named her Mimi. Apparently, Red and Alan were arrested at a party, after a girl heard Red bragging about his brilliant scheme to slip the roofies in some poor girl's soda. The police found three roofies in Red's jeans, and two in Alan's shirt. The state wants bail denied, and the brats sent to the criminal docket. The brats' counsel makes the usual "boys will be boys" argument, which I find particularly galling considering the fact that she is a woman. She concedes to possession, but claims the boys never intended to rape anyone. State's counsel speaks for me and tells Amy that there is no reason to have roofies, otherwise. Blah, blah, blah, Amy sends the boys back to detention - over the "these are good boys!" protests of Mrs. Mimi - and says they'll take up the issue again the next morning. When I was a student at UCLA, there was this big roofies ordeal, wherein a sorority girl accused two frat guys of drugging her drink and raping her on a Greek-sponsored trip to Mexico. It was a horrible scandal, and eventually, if I recall correctly, while the frat was "deactivated" as a whole by the university, and lost all funding, many of the victim's sorority sisters turned against her for speaking out. So maybe I'm biased, but I already really, really dislike Alan and Red.

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Judging Amy




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