Judging Amy
The God Thing

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The God Thing

OK, so my VCR decided to freak out and eat the first few minutes of this week's episode. So, please forgive the brevity of this opening paragraph. Our intrepid heroine's bestest friend at work, Greta (guest star Amy Aquino), returns to her judicial post after a battle with cancer. She looks mahvelous, darlings, and credits her health and well being to The Lord. Amy is dumbfounded by this revelation. Which makes sense because people rarely find religion in times of personal crisis.

My VCR kicks in. The credits roll. The episode is a mere three minutes old, and Amy's already set a new world record for Brattiness in the Face of the Personal Triumph of Others.

Amy, still dumbfounded, follows Greta into the courthouse. Greta is telling Amy about this man she met online, but Amy feels the need to interrupt and ask incredulously if Greta actually thinks that "God cured [her] cancer." Greta patiently tells Amy that she knows it was modern medicine that cured her cancer, but that "God may have helped." She explains that she met a Rabbi at the hospital who turned her on to the idea of God by answering her questions in ways she had never heard before. Amy wrinkles her nose and asks Greta if she's planning on converting. Greta tells Amy that she might, but all she knows is that this rabbi "makes it make sense." Amy, who is clearly utterly incapable of taking a serious conversation seriously, asks if the Rabbi is a hottie. Greta, who has remained completely calm and bemused by Amy's entire line of insensitive questioning, tells her that the Rabbi is an old man, and asks why Amy is having such a hard time believing that she's had a religious experience. Amy explains that is because they've always been cynics together. Greta points out that a life threatening illness can kind of nip cynicism in the bud, and asks if Amy thinks she's "crazy." Instead of hugging her alleged best friend and telling her that she's just happy to see her alive, well and happy, like a normal person would, Amy wrinkles her nose again and shakes her head and very unconvincingly tells Greta she's happy for her. Saintly Greta tells Amy that she's finally convinced that there is a purpose and a meaning to life, and that she is a part of it. She tells Amy that "no matter what happens, [she] is going to be OK" (Greta, not Amy, is going to be OK. Amy is going to hell). Amy presses her lips together in a grim approximation of a smile. Greta repeats that she is going to be OK. An anvil falls on my foot.

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Judging Amy

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