Judging Amy
Spoil The Child

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Spoil The Child

Maxine is interviewing Wu Tang's sister, a real dingbat who was recently arrested for assault and battery. She spends the entire interview picking at her skin. Tasha, for that is her name, wants to stay at the jail. She likes it there. Maxine thinks they can do better than that. I like Tasha's hair. So she's crazy, so what? Her hair is dope, yo.

Maxine tells Satan that Tasha exhibits the beginning signs of schizophrenia, and Wu has been charged with having sex with an unwilling neighbor girl. Maxine wants to try to place the kids with their grandmother, but Old Scratch poo-poos the entire thing. See, they don't have time to track down the grandma! Toss the kids in the slammer! "Who cares?" Lucifer asks. "Have you seen my pitchfork?" She wanders off to torture some damned souls. Maxine mutters that if she were still in charge, she'd fire Susie. Ah, Maxine, Beelzebub cannot be fired. The Princess of Darkness is her own boss.

Maxine tracks Grandma down at a home. She tells Maxine that she couldn't control the kids before, and that she can't do so now, even with the help of an aid. It's too hard. They're too crazy. She's too old. Grandma suggests that Maxine find the children's father, "Jarred something."

Maxine tries to get the kids in children's psych facility, but the head honcho tells her that he simply has no beds. Maxine gets in his face. He tells her that he's got other pressing cases, that he'd love to help, but that he just can't. Maxine begs. Honcho tells her that he's got his hands full. Maxine blows a gasket, then, telling him that she's sick of the "numbing indifference" she encounters on a regular basis, and she slams his door and refuses to leave under he does something for her. Honcho wearily agrees to find Wu and Tasha beds.

Halls of Justice, Amy wants Spanker to take parenting classes. Spanker is not down with that. Spanker's counsel calls it a violation of constitutional rights. Amy tells him that the constitution doesn't protect a parent's right to spank his child. Spanker tells her that he won't go to classes, and that he can raise Spankee however he wishes. Amy goes outside and unveils a large billboard, which reads: "Dumbass! When a judge tells you to go to parenting classes, you can't just say, 'No, thanks! Don't want to! Nope!' You go, or you lose the kid. Capice?" She tells him to think about it.

Family court -- not Amy's. Tasha and Wu Tang are being remanded to Lakeview, a psychiatric hospital, for observation. Wu Tang says he ain't going to no hospital. Hospital, schmospital, can they send him to a remedial grammar class? The judge in this case agrees. About the hospital, she doesn't mention the grammar problem. The judge lady sends the kids to the mental hospital. Wu screeches all the way out the door. Maxine Gray: 1, The Devil: 0.

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Judging Amy




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