Judging Amy
Spoil The Child

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Spoil The Child

Halls of Justice. Case du Jour; Spanking: Child abuse, or appropriate method of discipline? Talk amongst yourselves. I need another beer. All DCF wants is for "parenting issues" to be addressed in the Spanking Family. Defendant brats that he can spank his kid if he wants; it's in the Bible, you know! It's freedom of religion! Spare the rod! Amy appoints a court investigator to check out the whole ball of wax.

Maxine sees the Firestarter. He is, indeed, fiery, telling Maxine that his name is "Wu Tang." Maxine tries to get the kid to tell him her real name by spouting some mumbo jumble about how she hates her own name, and that she's tried to get people to call her Maxie, but it never caught on. I have an Uncle Maxie. Actually, he and Maxine look somewhat alike. Anyway, Wu Tang will have none of Maxine's pseudo-sympathetic psychobabble. He's silent. She guesses that maybe Wu doesn't want to have to go home. Wu articulately tells Maxine that she "don't know nothing." Maxine offers to help him, as long as he tells her his name. She pats him on the arm, and Wu flips, smacking her right in the eye, and yelling at her not to touch him! Whoo hoo! Violence! Add in some sex and swearing, and this'll be right up there with NYPD Blue.

The next morning, a phone call wakes Maxine, who's got one hell of a shiner. She tells Amy she walked into the bedpost.

Rancherito. Early morning. Donna is watching the Weather Channel, eating tuna from a can, with a huge snake wrapped around her neck. Vincent stumbles sleepily into the kitchen, and, instead of, oh, yelling and screaming and asking Donna what the hell is going on, with the snake, and the tuna, and the weather channel, Vincent merely looks somewhat perplexed. Keeping one eye on the snake, he gets a huge coffee mug out of the cupboard. It looks just like my Yosemite mug! That's Vincent, sending me a secret signal of love and telling me, through the medium of television, that we are meant to be 2gether 4ever. He calmly asks Donna if "that's a snake?" No, Vincent. It's very weird scarf. Donna introduces the snake, Chuck, to the mildly perturbed Vincent. He asks if he knew she had a snake. She says that, probably, he did not. Vincent just chuckles.

In Amy's chambers, she questions the Spanked Child. He tells her that sometimes his dad spanks him, with an open hand, when he's bad. Sometimes, he uses a belt. If he's really bad. Sometimes, it makes marks. Afterwards, the Spankee says, the Spanker tells the Spankee that he loves him. Pensive looks for everyone! Put them on my tab!

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Judging Amy

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