Judging Amy
Not With A Whimper

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Not With A Whimper

Meanwhile, across town, Amy awakens in the arms of her Ex. She freaks when she realizes that it's almost 6 AM. Michael says that he "thinks [they] need to talk." Amy says they don't. He says, "last night was momentous." Amy rolls her eyes and calls it "a mistake." Michael wonders if they shouldn't have gotten divorced. Amy brings him back to earth by telling him that they made the right decision and -- not thinking of herself for once -- reminds him that they didn't put Lauren through a divorce for nothing. She gently tells him that all they did was "say goodbye." If that's what the kids are calling it these days.

Vincent emerges from Evie's room, exhausted, and asks Peter and Gillian if they'd like to see the baby. They follow him into the room, and find Donna asleep in her chair, and Evie holding the cutest and oldest newborn I've seen in a while. The child's thisclose to walking, people. He's also, er, not totally white. Gillian and Peter look a tad taken aback. Vincent tells the assembled group that "Evie was a star." Evie smiles. She's giving the baby a bottle. Gillian comments that the baby is "so beautiful." Evie thanks her and comments that she "has a better idea who the father is now." Gillian looks utterly in love with the child. Peter looks, as par for the course, furious that his child is not all white. Vincent looks away.

In the waiting room, Maxine assures Peter and Gillian that it's normal for Evie to want to spend a little time with her baby before handing him over forever. Gillian is still concerned, mostly because Evie swore she didn't want to have anything to do with the baby before he was born, and now she seems a bit more interested. Peter asks angrily if they had "any idea that they baby was going to be that color?" Gillian wonders what difference it makes. Peter snaps that they ought to at least "consider it." Maxine can't stand not knowing exactly what is going on, and asks exactly "what color" the baby is. Peter spits that "the baby is black!" Could he be any more of a jerk about this? Because I don't think so. Gillian corrects him, telling Maxine that "the baby is biracial." Peter freaks and tells Gillian that they don't know anything about raising a biracial child, because they "come from the land of baloney and white bread." As a white person, I take umbrage with that. I eat wheat. Gillian can't believe that Peter honestly has a problem with the color of their child's skin. Maxine butts in to tell Gillian that the "child's ethnic makeup is important," but Gillian yells at her to "shut up!" This wakes Vincent from his nap on the sofa, and causes blood to rain from the skies. Gillian continues, telling Maxine that "no one asked [her]." Maxine passive-aggressively agrees that no one did ask her, but tells Gillian that it's naïve of her to "ignore her baby's racial heritage." Gillian points out what none of them has understood, which is that, at this moment, she doesn't have a baby, and she may never, the way Evie is acting, and she just can't sit through one of Maxine's lectures. Everyone looks stunned as Gillian tries not to cry. Amy, the patron saint of bad timing, flies into the waiting room at this point and sunnily asks what she missed. Can I take a sidebar and ask where Lauren is right now? At home, burning the house down? Down in the ICU infecting heart transplant patients with her little-girl germs? With Michael? Where? Everyone ignores Amy as Gillian continues, saying that she knows Maxine has never liked her. She explains that she just isn't like the Grays. She doesn't "have emotional outbursts every five minutes" and she "doesn't happen to enjoy arguing with my family members all the time." Amy and Vincent share a surprised glance. Gillian goes for the big finish by shouting that she is "a good person, who deserves respect!" Maxine informs Gillian that "[she] is [Maxine's] daughter-in-law and [Maxine] loves her," although she doesn't always like her. Maxine starts to say something about the baby, but loses her train of thought again. Everyone looks concerned, except Vincent, who looks sleepy and bored with his unending family drama. Maxine haltingly tells Amy that she thinks there's something wrong with her. Good thing they're at the hospital!

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Judging Amy

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