Judging Amy
Near Death Experience

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Jessica: D | Grade It Now!
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Near Death Experience

Halls of Justice; Chetwind case. Lots of yammering gives way to the main point of the scene: The Chetwind kid's lawyer is doing a rotten job, and the Chetwind kid has had a crummy life, in and out of foster homes. DCF gives him a chance, jail will make him a "hardened criminal." Amy is mad at Chetwind's lawyer for doing such a poor job of defending his client. She tells him to get his act together.

At Vincent's apartment, the Bandaged One (and hey, isn't it time to change those dressings, and get nekkid again?), is in front of his computer screen, seemingly blocked. He looks pensively around the room, and we are treated to a black and white flashback of the shooting, screams and sideways gun and all. When the color comes back, Vincent looks down to see his shirt stained with blood. He opens it (whoo hoo!) to reveal a bloodless, nicely cut stomach. Vincent looks sort of sick, probably because of the hallucinations and the whole almost dying thing. Maybe you'd feel better if you just kept your shirt off, Vince.

Halls of Justice: Jennifer's mother is on the stand, testifying about Jennifer's love of music, her potential as a smart, talented person, what a wonderful child she was, asking why, WHY she let her go outside and play on that fateful day. She starts to cry. I feel a little weepy. Amy looks down at her desk.

I find it amazing that cyclist Lance Armstrong's cancer had spread into his brain, and he not only beat the disease, but went on to win the bloody Tour de France. Hearing about that makes me much weepier than the tearjerker plot on tonight's Judging Amy. Maybe because it actually happened. Anyway, go Lance.

Sorry about that moment of sincerity. Back to Snarkiness Ground Zero: Amy's Courtroom and the Penis Case. The Voccis have not been able to agree on the circumcision issue. Amy tells them that it's too personal an issue for a judge to decide, and that they really ought to be able to make this call themselves. But, since the terms of their agreement indicate that they are to raise their children Jewish, she's going to find in favor of making the cut. Mrs. Vocci stands up and starts screeching about the barbarism and brutality of circumcision. Amy says she understands it's a fairly routine procedure, and basically tells her that in comparison to the people she sees on a daily basis, whose children have been shot and killed, a little snip snip is no big deal. She tells Mrs. Vocci to put the whole thing into perspective and sends the chastised parents home.

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Judging Amy

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