Judging Amy
Human Touch

Episode Report Card
Jessica: D | 1 USERS: A+
Human Touch

At Vincent and Donna's apartment (remember? They're living together while Donna's convict husband is in the Big House), Donna asks Vincent if he ate her kumquats. She finds them behind the wheatgrass. I like Donna. God help me, but she's grown on me like some rare breed of awkward, convict-loving fungus. Someone knocks on the door. It's The Girlfriend. Not noticing Donna, she races in the room and tells Vincent that she thinks they ought to have sex. Donna throws herself and her large baggie of kumquats almost inside the refrigerator, she so doesn't want to be there. She announces that she's leaving. The Girlfriend apologizes for not seeing her there. Donna says that that's because she's not there, and she takes her kumquats and puts on a hat and skedaddles her way out of there. After her exit, The Girlfriend tells Vincent that she "wants to get it over with." Vincent is, naturally, less than jonesed by this non-romantic non-proposal. The Girlfriend explains that she doesn't know if she's really scared, or if it's normal nerves, or if she's ever going to feel not scared, or what, and that she thinks she ought to just "close [her] eyes, take a breath, and jump." If that's how the kids are doing it these days. "Wow," Vincent says. "Now I'm scared." Girlfriend looks stricken and says "Really?" Vincent smiles at her. "No, not really," he says, as he takes her hand and leads her off to his presumably still clean sheets.

At DCF, Susie "My Bad, I Guess I Am A Crook" Nixon is being led out by the fuzz. She sidles over to Maxine and twirls her handlebar mustache and hisses that "this is not over!" I bet it's not. I also bet that Maxine will squash you like a bug, again, the next time. Some DCF Muckety Muck tells Maxine that he really would have preferred it if she had come to him and they could have handled this entire debacle internally. Maxine explains that Susie not only committed a crime, she also told Maxine that she wasn't afraid of DCF. Maxine apologizes to the Muckety Muck, but tells him that she had to be sure Susie got what she deserved. Muckety Muck looks Maxine up and down and tells her that she's got "one set of brass balls." And don't you forget it, Mister.

Peter is at home, working on what look like taxes at his desk. Amy trudges up the stairs and into the room. They exchange a terse couple of words before Amy tells Peter that Maxine is letting her pay for the entire roof, and that she sold some stock to do it. (Where is all her money going, that she had to sell stock? No expenses, Lauren's in public school, the lawyers in her custody battle can't be that expensive. What the hell?) Anyway, Amy explains that she's figures she owed Maxine, after all. No kidding, freeloader. She admits that Peter was right. Peter tersely accepts her apology, and then asks her if she "really thought he was the cool one?" She promises him that he was totally cool, with his band and his music, doing his own thing. Oh, Jesus, then they start talking about the band, and I will spare you the remainder of this painful, painful Judging Amy moment, except to say that the rest of the scene involves a very, very poor rendition of Jumpin' Jack Flash, some totally rhythmless dancing from Amy and the still very uncool Peter twanging about on his stupid gee-tar. They both dissolve into giggles as the screen fades to black.

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Judging Amy




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