Judging Amy
Human Touch

Episode Report Card
Jessica: D | 1 USERS: A+
Human Touch

Amy and Vincent are dressed like joggers, but they're strolling down the street drinking coffee. "Sex is complicated," Amy says. "It wasn't complicated in high school," Vincent says. Amy, shocked, asks Vincent how much sex he was having in high school. He explains that he had to "be advanced in some subject." A regular viewer of this show would have guessed that that subject was English, since Vincent is allegedly so brilliant a writer, but whatever. Amy tells Vincent to give the Girlfriend time. Vincent wonders how to handle this without screwing it up, so to speak. Amy tells him to tell her how he feels. Vincent says that would "let down [his] whole gender." Amy turns right to him and asks him, surprised, if he loves the Girlfriend. Vincent crinkles his forehead and says he doesn't know, like he's in fourth grade. "You LOVE HER!" Amy crows. Vincent cracks that talking to his sister about love is lowering his sperm count. "You LOVE HER," Amy says again. "Shut up," Vincent says, throwing his empty coffee cup at her and running off. Yes, fourth grade sounds about right. Amy laughs to herself. That was a cute scene. But I'd like to state for the record that I hate the Girlfriend. She reminds me of the unholy love child of Party of Five's Lacey Chabert and Felicity's Amy Jo Johnson, whom I often call "Ratface." Is that mean? ["If calling Amy Jo Johnson 'Ratface' is wrong, I don't want to be right." -- Wing Chun]

Back in the Halls of Justice, the Filipoviches are telling their Tale of Woe through an interpreter. This confuses Ascot-Wearing Ian, who doesn't know if he's supposed to type in Croatian or not. I wish Bruce would deck him. But Bruce is a lover, not a fighter. Apparently, in Croatia, the Filipoviches' daughter was taken from them, and they had to sign away their home and all their belongings in order to get her back. But they didn't get her back until she had been raped and murdered. Good Lord, no wonder they're hesitant to sign any papers involving anything ever again. Everyone in the courtroom looks ready to cry, with the notable exception of the DCF lawyers. Amy tells DCF to find housing for the Filiopoviches and to give their son back to them immediately. One of the DCF lawyers starts to hem and haw about procedure, and says that "someone has to sign." Amy basically tells her to get the family an apartment by the end of the day, or else.

Amy runs into Maxine in the courthouse caf. "I was going to eat lunch," Maxine tells her, "but all I really wanted was chocolate cake." I've been there. Amy displays amazing insensitivity and tells her mother that if Maxine needed money, she should have asked. No matter what, Amy, you should have offered. Maxine says she doesn't want to talk about it again, that all she wants is "to eat cake." Yup, been there, too. Maxine blurts out that she lost $27,000 "and change" in the day-trading debacle. Amy announces she's going to start paying rent, and Maxine agrees. They dig into the cake together, a d├ętente sealed by the sacred partaking of the pastry.

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Judging Amy




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