Joe Millionaire
Diamond Necklace

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!
Diamond Necklace

Melissa and Evan arrive at their hotel. Melissa says she has permagrin, and it must be contagious, because Zora was afflicted with that syndrome last week. Melissa explores the hotel room and tells Evan that she is "such a happy camper right now." Evan, of course, has to open a bottle of champagne, because he can't go two minutes without a drink. He opens it off the balcony and the editors totally pipe in the sound of glass breaking. Okay, the champagne cork hitting someone was funny the first time, but now it's kind of played. Melissa asks Evan to pinch her. I thought that was Sarah's gig. Evan says he needs to be pinched, because he can't believe he's there. Melissa nods and smiles. In an interview, Melissa says that she's concerned that Evan looks at her like a little sister, so she strategized and suggested they go watch the sunset. Evan picks up the champagne, so he doesn't have to go a minute without his sweet, sweet nectar. Melissa voice-overs that they walked down to the beach.

Evan and Melissa changed clothes before heading for the beach, because now they are wearing matching red sweaters. Melissa is wearing spike-heeled ankle boots, and if I made fun of Dayana for wearing those horseback riding, I have to make fun of Melissa for wearing them to the beach. Luckily, it's pretty easy for me to do so. At least she took them off and carried them. Evan is wearing flip-flops, and I would like to think he was being sensible, but in reality, I know he just wanted to be comfortable. And Melissa's already seen his ugly, ugly feet. They walk in the surf and then lie down on a blanket and drink some more champagne and watch the sunset. In an interview, Melissa says, "So the sun setted." The sun what? "Setted"? If she wins, is she going to say that the happiest day of her life was the day she and Evan metted? Is she going to show off the lovely jewelry that Evan getted her? Somewhere, Miss Alli is shaking her head sadly and saying, "I hope everyone already forgetted that Melissa is from Minnesota." Anyway, Melissa continues, "I wonder if he'll kiss me." Melissa keeps turning and looking at Evan over her shoulder in what I'm sure she imagines is a coquettish manner, but it actually looks painful and forced. In an interview, Evan says he can talk to Melissa about anything. He proceeds to tell her a story about a guy who had an ingrown toenail, and then he had a fungus in his car and he got a staph infection and died. What? How in the hell did that come up? And also, ew! And why was the source of the fungus pinpointed to his car? And was this an episode of C.S.I.? So many questions. In an interview, Melissa says, "It was romantic." Cut to Evan asking her if she ever put super-glue on her cuts. Hee! He is the king of the non sequitur. Melissa hasn't heard of it, so Evan explains. In an interview, Melissa says, "Definitely. Little sister." The sun has setted, so Evan suggests that they walk back up to the hotel.

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Joe Millionaire




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