Joe Millionaire
Diamond Necklace

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!
Diamond Necklace

Everyone stares at each other for, like, twenty more minutes, like, please get on with it already! The camera ZOOOOOOOMS in on the final diamond. Diamond! Superstar! The diamond is like, "Dude, don't make me go home with Melissa. She's scary." The shots go: Melissa, Zora, Sarah, diamond, Melissa, Zora, Evan, and Paul. Finally, Paul says, "Zzzzzzora!" You know he enjoyed that. Zora pops up. Behind her back, Sarah and Melissa totally make faces at each other like, "What's up with that? We both put out and she gets to stay? Hell, no!" In an interview, Evan says that Zora is mysterious and intriguing, which is sexy, and she makes him feel like a kid again. In other words, she might give him a handjob, but that's about it. Zora returns to her seat.

Melissa has a look on her face like she's just realizing how badly she whored herself out for no reward. In an interview, Evan says he didn't have feelings for Melissa, and that while she's cute, something was missing. Evan tells Zora and Sarah he'll see them tomorrow. Melissa jumps up and manically asks for a hug goodbye. Evan hugs her and then he and Paul walk out. Melissa wants to see the necklaces. As she examines Zora's, she pretends she's going to rip it off, but I totally would not have been surprised if she actually had, because this show is just that trashy. Paul returns and tells Melissa that it's time to go. Sarah gives Melissa a quick hug, as does Zora.

Sarah tells Zora that their necklaces are gorgeous. In an interview, Sarah says it's becoming clearer to her why the two of them are left, because they have a lot in common. They do? What? Hair? Two eyes? In an interview, Zora says she can't imagine that Evan could have picked two girls who were more different. Heh. Sarah says she can't believe that they're at the end and raises her scary eyebrows. Sarah doesn't think there will be any relaxing from here on out.

Melissa packs. In an interview, Melissa gets tears in her eyes and clears her throat. Paul walks her out. In an interview, Melissa says that she had a good time and then gets all choked up. She says that Evan is a great guy who made her feel at home and safe. Paul hugs Melissa goodbye. In an interview, Melissa says that Evan is missing out. Melissa's car pulls away.

Back at the chateau, Evan returns to his old friend, the demon alcohol. He sits at the kitchen table and downs a beer. In an interview, Evan says he's been dreading this from the beginning, because it's down to two girls and he has to pick one of them and tell her that he's been lying this whole time. Evan gulps down some beer and then stares at it, probably thinking, "I wish I could just marry beer."

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Joe Millionaire




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