Joe Millionaire
Diamond Necklace

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Diamond Necklace

Time for Sarah's date. She primps in the car on the way to the airport. In an interview, Sarah says she grew up in a small town and that she's imagining what it would be like to have access to everything she ever wanted. In an interview, Evan says he's been looking forward to his date with Sarah, because they always have a great time together and he's almost positive this will be no exception. It's the most innocuous statement, but in light of last week's slurp-and-gulp fest, it seems like everything Evan says is filled with innuendo. Evan says that he really likes Sarah because she's "really classy and cultured." Boy, did she pull the wool over his eyes or what? Sarah and Evan arrive at her hotel. She gasps over the hotel. Evan voice-overs that they're staying in a hotel just outside Nice, and it's "supposedly a really exclusive resort for the rich and famous." Evan tells Sarah to get settled in and he'll be back to get her shortly.

Sarah unpacks her makeup first. She pops open a bottle of champagne and manages not to kill anyone with the cork. She eats a cookie or something and makes these oohing and aahing noises like an Herbal Essences ad. In an interview, Sarah says that she's not a big seductress, but she doesn't want to get eliminated next. In other words, she'll blow him again for a shot at the next round. Sarah downs another glass of champagne and then starts digging through her bag, moaning. In an interview, Sarah says that "the stupid steward had left [her] dress on the plane." Man, suddenly she's Leona Helmsley or something. Sarah tells someone (herself?) that she doesn't understand why someone couldn't have tracked the dress down. She finishes getting ready and tells someone (the camera crew?) that it's not what she had in mind.

Evan knocks on the door. Sarah immediately launches into a litany of complaints about how her dress was lost, the converter didn't work, and her shoe broke. Well, we know she doesn't mind going without shoes if the price is right. Evan tells her that she looks phenomenal. In an interview, Evan says that Sarah is "full of life" and "positive about everything." Sarah? That Sarah on my screen? I guess by "full of life," he means "easy" and by "positive about everything," he means "positive I can get some nookie." In an interview, Sarah says that Evan isn't totally her type, because he's "a little rough around the edges, but that can change in time."

At dinner, Sarah describes in detail what kind of wine she wants. I know nothing about wine, but when she says she wants "berry flavor but not grapey," it sounds like a wine cooler might be in order. In an interview, Evan says that Sarah is knowledgeable about food and wine, and that it's made his experience with her pleasurable. Sarah picks out her dinner as Evan urges her to just get a steak. She corrects Evan on what part of the menu to look at. Sarah's meal comes and Evan is all up in her business, checking it out. She has a plate of gnocchi. Evan asks what's in them. She says it's cream puff dough. Evan says he meant what's inside them. Sarah says, "Nothing," really bitchy-like. She explains that you just roll the dough and cut the dough. Evan says he's seen some with fillings. Sarah says, "Gnocchi?" Evan says he's seen them with meat inside. Sarah bitches, "No, that's ravioli," and it's like she has to totally restrain herself from adding, "Fucking idiot." Which Evan is, don't get me wrong, but she didn't have to be such a bitch about it. In an interview, Sarah says that Evan is not "extraneously intellectual." So he doesn't have any extra intellect lying around? I don't think that word means what she thinks it does. Sarah adds that you don't have to think someone is fabulous all of the time. Okay, but if you don't think that on your third date? Seems like a red flag.

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Joe Millionaire




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