Jersey Shore
Three Men and a Snooki

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: A- | Grade It Now!
BYOK (Bring Your Own Karma)

At this point, he probably could have had her, so low is the Snickers in her own despair. Instead, he starts talking about beating up Jionni and claims Ronnie encouraged him. Flash back to the other night, Sitch approaches Ronnie all ornery and ready to rumble, and Ronnie said noncommittally, "Just do what you gotta do, bro." It wasn't so much an encouragement as a "I'm tired of your hallucinations, so I'm going to say whatever I need to so you will stop talking about them to me." Snooki snaps out of her vulnerable moment and gets riled up that her roommates were conspiring against Jionni behind her back -- just as she thought. Deena interrupts, so Snooki shoots up and goes inside to confront Ronnie. The way she calls to him, it's obvious she's out for blood. Pauly's reaction at this mood swing is hilarious -- like cartoonish eyeball-shooting-out-of-head shock.

Snooki asks Ronnie about the "Do what you gotta do," and he doesn't blink. He's all, "Yeah, I said it, and that's your problem." He says he doesn't want to get roped into anybody's drama... The Situation's, Jionni's, whatever. Snooki starts crying again. Though he's still unapologetic, Ronnie gives her a really weirdly timed hug and kiss on the forehead. Snooki feels really upset that nobody has her back and says dramatically it's the worst she's ever felt living with the roommates. Really, Snooki? This is worse than two nights ago? Alcohol really does kill brain cells, huh?

While she seeks comfort with Crocodilly, the roommates take Sitch to task for ruining the awesomest night ever. JWOWW warns him that Snooki will choose Jionni over him any day of the week. And then he randomly starts talking about her sucking him off. Seriously, I cannot explain or point out the transition because there was none. JWOWW and Sammi are both like, "Seriously, man. WTF? You're talking about my friend." Sitch confrontationally throws his arms out and blurts, "Well, she did that!" Like it exonerates him for being a tacky prick.

Everyone starts to get ready for bed, and Snooki realizes that slutty itch isn't going to scratch itself. She wiggles her way into Pauly's bed, but Deena protests, so she moves over to Vinny's. We really are back in Jersey! Sensing that Vinny is keeping distance between them, Snooki asks, "Would you cuddle without being a freak?" Vinny snorts back, "What does that mean? Get a boner?" So, with Sitchy lying in the bed he made for himself and Pauly watching in vast amusement (after kicking Deena out of his bed, natch), Snooki tells Vinny, "I want you to fuck me." Ah, romance! He asks, "Are you with Jionni anymore?" She shakes her head, and they start to make out. They really should put a Breathalyzer on these kids' beds.

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Jersey Shore




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