Jersey Shore
Three Men and a Snooki

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: A- | Grade It Now!
BYOK (Bring Your Own Karma)

That evening, you can tell the tone has changed because, well, I'll just let Sammi explains: "Vinny's in purple pants, and I don't know how I feel about it. (Side note: While looking for that picture, I found this one -- which, though it doesn't work for non-Canadians, simultaneously comes with a video of Pauly D sans hair gel! I am simultaneously horrified and compelled. Too! Much!) Befitting the more playful mood in the house, Pauly urges Vinny to put a couch on top of Deena's bed. A couch becomes a couch and a chair, then some more chairs, then finally everything that Deena owns. It's the leaning tower of Deena!

Deena discovers the prank, and Pauly's all, "Don't look at me!" Deena immediately screeches Vinny's name and finds him in the shower. Her little diatribe backfires when Vinny jumps out of the shower and corners her stark naked. Deena runs out, "Ewwww! He put his penis on me!" Meanwhile, this puts Deena and Snooki one step closer to actually being the same person. It also means that Vinny has had naked penile contact with three of his five female housemates. He's like a fox that one. Turn your head for one second, and he pounces! Deena goes about dismantling Vinny's work by herself, as is the custom of the punked. Eventually she gets trapped under the couch that started it all, giving us a nice long view of her panties. Of course. Vinny and Pauly sit there and laugh at her until JWOWW finally comes to her rescue. Pauly cackles, "This is the best day of my life!"

Later that night, Snooki is lying in her bed drinking a beer -- because that's how sad she is. Drinkin'-in-bed sad. JWOWW tells her to get off her pathetic ass and come out with them. Snooki seems set on moping all night, so JWOWW jumps on top of her and starts bouncing up and down to literally shake her out of it. But the place she chooses to sit looks a little too girl-on-girl. Even Snooki says, "Owwww, that hurts. That must really hurt Roger!" This might be weird if these kids had any boundaries. So Snooki gets up and slips into a little black hoochie dress. She goes to the threshold of the smoking patio and asks, "Do I like look Elvira?" Little does she know, Pauly has snuck up behind her and is poised to goose both ass cheeks. She falls over, probably for the first time ever sober!

The kids pile into their cabs, and Deena is in a foul mood from the start. She confesses in an interview that she's experience lots of symptoms of being pregnant and has missed her period. Well the cure for that is definitely to go out and get bomb-face wasted, right? They arrive at the club, and Snooki immediately finds herself a weird Euro hipster guy to dance with, and he doesn't even seem to mind that she's throwing him around and choking him as they dance. Back on the couches, Deena decides il club is an appropriate venue to confide in JWOWW that she thinks she's pregnant. For her part, JWOWW is just pissed that someone else's bullshit is ruining yet another night for her. JWOWW convinces Deena to find a pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test, so they walk around in the middle of the night together as Deena starts whimpering and crying about what she could have gotten herself into.

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Jersey Shore




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