Jersey Shore
The Truth Will Set You Free

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: C- | Grade It Now!
Vagina Mold, Truth Be Told

Previously: The Situation waited... and waited... and waited... and waited for the perfect opportunity to spring the information Snooki cheated on Jionni with him. Meanwhile, Vinny might be springing on drunken Snooki, and Deena definitely made some springs creak with her latest trick, Joey.

Snooki and Vinny literally haven't even gotten in the door to the Shore House after a day-drinking trip in which Vinny finally cut off Snooki, but the little Meatball is already getting excited about going back out to Jenks. They head into Vinny's room (innocently, unfortunately), and Pauly and Deena follow them in to ask if there's romance in the air. Snooki jokes that she tried to get Vinny drunk and have her way with him, but it didn't happen. Pauly plays the jealous lover, telling her, "You can't just take my man out on dates. Stop trying to get in my man's pants!" Snooki decides to take a disco nap before heading back out.

Deena hears the duck phone quacking and heads out to answer it. It's Joey, who says he can't meet up with her at Jenks but makes plans to see her the next night at Karma. Deena thinks she might actually like this kid, so she's disappointed that her chance at a boyfriend is put on hold for another night. Not long after, though, she complains that all the coupled-up people in the house are staying home to sleep that night, so it doesn't seem like she's missing much, frankly.

DMVP head out to Jenks for a singletons night. There is a brief, completely inconsequential Angelina sighting, and everyone's all, "I don't want to be seen with you," and that's it. She gave them the best 12 days of her life, and that's how it is now? Rough! Pauly and Sitch quickly find themselves DTF chicks and head home to close the deal. Or so they think. Sitchy's his girl turns out to be more DTS/DTMO (Down To Snuggle/Down To Make Out), and Pauly's chick is on her period. Sitch tries to think of a way to quickly kick her out, but Pauly's trick makes the tactical error of telling him about Aunt Flo on the cab ride home, so he doesn't even let her inside the house. He snarks, "Take your girl and your tampons with you. See ya!"

The next morning, Sitch calls a bagel place to order dinner. We learn a few things: Pauly likes chocolate chip bagels, someone eats home fries, and Ronnie's preferred sports drink is yellow Gatorade. Who knew these people rocked so many carbs? Sitch continues his "I'm nice, I swear!" campaign by paying for the order. Which is all well and good, but when the kid arrives with the food, none of the roommates have any cash, so Sitch tips him with... drum roll... a packet of protein powder! I am not making this up. He laughs at what an a-hole he's being, and the kid is all, "What is this?" Sitch explains and then basically shuts the door in the kid's face. He claims he's being helpful and that, "In the guido world, protein is like money!" I'm guessing there's going to be some spit (and God knows what else) mixed in to their cream cheese next time they order delivery.

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Jersey Shore




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