Jersey Shore

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Sleeping with the Enemy

And speaking of the struggle to make this show happen, it's time for this week's "Reasons Why We Hate Angelina" segment. This week has to do with Angelina talking shit about Snooki's boyfriend (of five minutes). While Angelina and Snooki go back and forth, Ronnie rejoices that the drama isn't all about him for a hot second. Then the camera cuts to JWoWW hulking into the shot, and you know shit is about to go down. Because, if we're being honest, Snooki is a yapping little teacup poodle in the scheme of things, whereas JWoWW is a straight-up Doberman Pinscher who will rip a bitch's neck off. Angelina idiotically claims her main goal of being on this season is to be cool with everybody. JWoWW rattles off a list of all the people to whom Angelina has talked shit about her cast mates. Angelina holds her ground, so JWoWW busts out the neck swivel to show she means business, saying that if Angelina sticks around, she's going to get her ass beat. "I'm gonna be here forever," warns Angelina. Ronnie asks the guys if they want some pretzels because, let's face it, this shit is the circus. It's a sporting event. A spectacle. Meanwhile, Sitch chips in that he sees JWoWW rising up to get Filthy (Couture) and that he can speak from experience, since she smacked him up good last season in AC. He says that Angelina has no idea what she's coming up against. To wit, Angelina claims she's just "being real." Then the phone rings. It's some asking for Angelina, and Snooki tells him, "She died."

As she walks, Palermo-like, away from the altercation, Angelina claims she's not here to fight. Her friend calls back, asking if she died. Ronnie heads to the blender to make some Ron Ron Juice, proclaiming, "It's gonna be a looooong two months." Cue a montage of JWoWW checking on a moping Sammi, Angelina being a hag, Ronnie blending to his heart's content, and Snooki drinking like a fish.

JWoWW returns outside to inform the boys Ronnie told her about his club indiscretions. They revel in the chance to share all the dirty details, bringing Snooki in for good measure. Despite Vinnie's protestations that The WoWW has a vagina -- and therefore can't be trusted -- it's Sitch who finally takes the gossip to the next level by spilling that not only did Ronnie break the GFA (Grenade Free America) pact by hooking up with low-level skank, he also consciously (and boastfully, says Vinnie) hooked up with Sammi afterward. Boom goes the grenade!

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Jersey Shore




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