Jersey Shore
The Follow Game

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B- | Grade It Now!
The Tri-Funk-Ta, or Meatball Walking

Bonus footage: Snooki's bunny has a name -- Lola! (That's my Italian nickname!) Snooki sits out on the patio, making up Lola like a grade-A tart, and tells her, "You were a hit today. Everybody loved you!" Cue flashbacks of "Lola" riding roller coasters and partying on the Boardwalk. Lola is from Vegas, apparently, so "no one can handle [her]."

The next day, Deena is assuring Sammi and Ronnie that the Meatballs didn't get in trouble for drinking through work. Pauly corrects this misapprehension, telling them Danny was irate. Deena suddenly remembers that real people face consequences for their decision and worries that she might get fired and kicked out of the house. Ronnie advises her to apologize before her next shift, so Deena heads to the duck phone. He tells her, "An apology's not going to get you very far" and refuses to give them a verdict on whether they'll be fired or not. (They won't.)

The kids wile away the afternoon with ridiculata: Snooki and Ronnie head upstairs to set up a bag toss game (why? don't ask...). Snooki can't resist stuffing herself into the box, and Vinny can't resist sneaking up behind her to knock her over. Downstairs JWOWW wonders, "How is there a pretzel in my makeup?" Sunday dinner (a traditional meal of Chinese takeout) arrives, and the kids sit down. Sitch asks Deena about her sister and his brother. She is hopeful about their prospects while Sitch puzzles over the possibility he could become Deena's brother-in-law. It seems a distant possibility, mind you, because Baby Deena is The Sitchlet's rebound from a nine-year relationship. As such, everyone basically calls Deena's sister a big fat whore. To her credit, Deena shuts that disrespect down immediately. Way to stand up for yourself, li'l Meatball!

Sitch tires of playing nice with Deena and heads to the phone to get some dirty details from Unit. Unit is scant on details but seems to think Deena's sister has been the victim of a smash-and-dash. Sitch tries to be discreet (an impossible feat), but Deena happens upon the conversation. She admits she's disappointed to have to think about any familial relationship with Sitch at all because, even though he's been nice for a couple days, a "leopard never shed its stripes." Okay, readers, just let that malapropism sink in for a few minutes. She only had to get out five words, and she still managed to fuck up three of them. Further, I suspect if she had spelled that sentence out, she would have used "it's." Zero points, Deena.

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Jersey Shore




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