Jersey Shore
The Follow Game

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B- | Grade It Now!
The Tri-Funk-Ta, or Meatball Walking

The next morning, JWOWW calls Roger. He finally answers and barely gets out a hello before she snaps, "Where the hell have you been?!" He laughs at her stank attitude before saying his phone got messed up, and he had to take the day off to address it (even though he has a work phone). JWOWW is pissed because Roger never takes the day off for her (you'll remember that his plan to come to Italy last season fell through because he couldn't get time off work). Seriously though, isn't he a professional body builder or trainer or something? It's not like he's a baby doctor or the president. Surely he has a fairly flexible schedule, no? But I digress... She hangs up and goes to bitch to Snooki, interviewing, "I feel like I know where I stand, and he can go fuck himself." That's love, folks.

Snooki finally drags herself out of her bed to first confess that she's needs a therapist and AA meeting, then to precariously plop herself into the roof deck hammock for an extension nap-slash-kibbutz with the seagulls. The confession continues, "Daytime altogether is, like, so fucking annoying. Like, go away! In Arkansas, it's always dark out. So you just... everything's dark. Always." (Step one, she's thinking of Alaska. Step two, it's actually the opposite. Another victory for American schooling!) Snooki tries to get out of the hammock and... splat. As the guys say goodbye to their tricks (Deanna was only average, says Vinny), Snooki lies on the hammock base for some time more, contemplating whether to poop or throw up. She gets up just long enough to sweep the bed (wha?) in the Communal Smush Room, note a gross stain on the mattress, and then lie down and wrap herself around a broom for another cat nap.

Duck phone! JWOWW answers, and Roger doesn't even recognize her voice. He tells her he's stuck at work and is going to be late for her date. He'll be there by 5 PM, but she has to be back home by 6:30 PM. He asks if she wants to reschedule, she gives him a disappointed "meh," and the argument quickly spins out to a climax of her unloading all her grievances (and calling him out for being at the beach with his boys, not her) on him. She rains her wrath down on him and hangs up without giving him the chance to respond. She tells Sammi she feels like Roger doesn't consider a priority for him, concluding, "the damage is done." Honey, the damage was done when you put on those pink boots and that Flashdance top.

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Jersey Shore




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