Jersey Shore

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B+ | Grade It Now!
In Which We Learn About the Communal Smush Room

Previously: While Vinny is getting around like wild fire, it's Ronnie's infidelity antics that have been under the spotlight. And the girls who let the cat-chaser out of the bag have lived to tell about it... so far. There's still hope for tonight!

Scenes of bedlam set the mood for our return to the start of last week's weave-pulling fracas. We're enlightened that JWOWW is relatively sober and reminded of Angelina's shit-stirring ways. Vinny tells The WOWW about Schmolie questioning her integrity and somehow from all this, JWOWW and Sammi get into it. Long time coming, honestly. Mainly because Sammi's stupid and weak and won't take her aggression out of the person who actually wronged her -- Ronnie. Much screaming later -- which Ronnie likens to "firecrackers in a dumpster" (appropriate on so many levels) -- JWOWW has enough and shoves Sammi. Cat fighting ensues, hooker heels clatter on the wooden floor and objects are thrown at heads (Sammi's, I'm happy to report). Vinny finally rips Sammi away, and Ronnie capitalizes on his brute 'roid strength to pull JWOWW back.

Oh, but it's not over. Ronnie gets all up on Vinny for starting this shit. Vinny insists it was Angelina, later interviewing that Angelina is a "shady bitch" who needs a little accountability thrust upon her. Of course Angelina irately screams that she always gets blamed for talking shit, so Snooki points out that, well, she talks a lot of shit. Angelina insists she's not playing both sides, she's just friends with everyone in the house. Methinks Kim G. has a protégé because that's some seriously flawed reasoning: I am X, therefore there is no way that I am X! Eventually Snooki has her fill and summons all of the fierceness in her 4'9" frame to roar that Angelina wrote the note with her and JWOWW. Not technically accurate but certainly plausible, which all that matters with these imbeciles. And sometimes not...

Regardless, Sammi is just as dumb as everyone in the house thinks she is, so she chooses to believe Ronnie over the girls who have done nothing but support her. Then Ronnie turns it over, saying Snooki only wrote the letter because things soured with Emilio. Ohhhh, shit. This fight just went nuclear. Snooki starts jumping up and down. Eventually, in a flash of albino leopard print, she barrels right into Ronnie and pushes him a good couple feet. Would somebody please take it upon him/herself to e-mail me a Gif? You'd be my guido hero forever!

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Jersey Shore




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