Jersey Shore

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: D | 1 USERS: A+
Remembrance of Things Smashed

Julissa asks if Snooki looked at Vinny differently after he hooked up with Angelina. She says she did, and that it made her feel stupid. Vinny incoherently tries to explain why he smashed Angelina, making it sound like there was an element of revenge since she'd acted like such a bitch to him just hours before. He claims he had to jump on a grenade to expose her hypocrisy. "That was a landmine," chimes in Sitch. Snooki questions Vinny's decision making process but says she's over it. I'm sure her thought process went something like this: "Waaaaaah! How long has it been? Surely all the Angelina cooties have passed on by now. Party's here!"

And now for the final retrospective: We see again as JWOWW destroys Sammi's "favorite" white shorts. Then a bonus of JWOWW with camel toe, which prompts Vinny to mock her both in a dead-on voice impression and by stuffing two pillows between his legs. Next, a montage of all the roommates getting ready in front of the one mirror in the house, which naturally has a camera on the other side. Ah, the thrills of Snooki constructing her pouf, JWOWW crane lifting her rock tits, Sammi making disparaging comments about her body, everyone checking out his/her ass about a million times, and Sitch spying on Angelina's "cuca" at every chance -- nearly as much as he checks out himself! But what would a montage be without a grand finale? And this one features people popping zits and JWOWW farting. Afterward, Sammi admits that -- contrary to popular assumptions about motorcycle-proof haired Pauly and/or The Situation -- she was the roommate who spent the most time in front of the mirror because she's got a touch of the OCD when it comes to straightening her hair. Julissa compliments her on her lack of flyaways, then teases the third season before bringing the show to an abrupt end. So mind-numbing, yet so poorly paced! Why has no one given these people a Peabody yet?! And, with that, I bid you all farewell for this season. See you all in January, bitches!

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Jersey Shore




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