Jersey Shore
One Meatball Stands Alone

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: D | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
"Bacon, Egg, and Cheese... Your Girl Blew Me"

Nonetheless, the mob rules. A few hours later, Joey shows up and calls the house (despite the fact that he is literally standing outside and could just knock on the door). Deena watches uselessly as Pauly lies that Deena is sick and basically tells Joey to buzz off. Seconds later, Joey calls again. JWOWW answers and calls Joey out for not offering "sick" Deena chicken noodle soup. She tells him that Deena is moving on to the next, "now take care, enjoy your summer, buh-bye now!" Click.

That night, MVP heads to Aztec, Snooki and Jionni stay inside, and everyone else heads to Jimbo's. Deena is disappointed that her fellow Meatball isn't there for her, but we can't ponder the sad abyss of loneliness too long because The Situation is vulture-ing it up at da club, picking up the carrion of a girl who just left a nine year relationship when her boyfriend cheated on her. Back to the inherent loneliness of existence! Deena complains to JWOWW about how Snooki has basically has basically abandoned her. She tearfully interviews, "It's like one Meatball stands alone." It would be funny if it weren't a legitimately sad moment.

Some time later, MVP head home. Vinny has opted for a fuller-figured girl (or as Tyra would say, "fiercely real"), so Pauly picks up two ladies for Vinny's drunk goggles fall off (or whatever goggles he's wearing since he maybe doesn't drink anymore?). Alas, they never do, so the spare girl is left to curl up pathetically on the floor while all the others participate in a Jersey Shore-gy.

Camping time! The kids have condoms and vodka, and Snooki has practiced her stillness in case of bears. What else do you need? Vinny and Pauly have opted to stay behind so they can set up the greatest prank of all time. (Also because woods and blowouts don't mix.) Unsurprisingly, the prank involves moving lots of furniture. Because that was so effective last time... They recruit Danny, who has plenty of bones to pick with the various roommates, and so it begins.

Meanwhile, the campers get portable toilets, among other things, and head to the campsite. They get there, and Deena bemoans the dirt and bugs, saying, "This is not what I was expecting." What were you expecting? While the guys pitch their tents (and make lots of obvious jokes about pitching their tents), Snooki immediately sets up the bar and starts mixing drinks. Then Sitch steps approximately seven feet from the campsite and whips out his dick to urinate. We learn (under duress) that he has many methods of peeing. One involves hopping. Now, I don't have a penis, but that just sounds foolish.

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Jersey Shore

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