Jersey Shore
No Shame, Good Integrity

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DeAnn Welker: C | Grade It Now!
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And Now For Celibacy

I'll spare you the previouslies. If only MTV had been as thoughtful, considering they aired these episodes back to back. Instead, I'll jump right in. The gang is still at Karma. Deena's boyfriend shows up and she can't wait to introduce him to everyone. Vinny says everyone's having fun, but it's weird without Snooki. Meanwhile, she's eating off of Jionni's plate just like any pregnant lady. She asks if she's boring or just responsible and he says they're having a baby so she's asking the wrong person. He sweetly tells her to make sure no one comes in and jumps on her when they're drunk. She says that will piss her off. Then she decides she's going to ask Danny for her own place this summer. She'll even work every day if he'll give her one.

Karma. MVP are dancing and having a good time. Ron and Sam are fighting. Something about Sam not liking to eat before she goes out and drinks and Ron worrying she's going to get too bombed. Jenni thinks Ron shouldn't drink if he wants to stay with Sam, because when he's drunk he thinks he's in the worst relationship in the world. Ron proves his point, by telling Sam that he doesn't need to be with her; he has a million girls who can do what she does. Pauly says summer's officially started, because Ron and Sam are fighting. Did MTV get them back together so that this boring season would have some drama? Even though it's the worst drama this show ever has to watch. Because... seriously, who cares? Sam isn't drunk and isn't going to fight back. JWOWW says drunk Ron thinks Sam is the devil and that everyone is against him, especially Sam. "This isn't the first time, and it won't be the last." Oh, can it be... please?

Mike philosophizes that he is watching Vinny and Pauly, from his sober perspective, and he's thinking they aren't making good decisions and wonders if he's going to have to save them. Then he wonders if he wasn't making such good decisions, "but then we all know I wasn't." Is it weird that sober Mike sounds smart? Could he possibly be?

Snooki and Jionni walk back to the Shore House and say goodbye. Snooki feels really alone with everyone out at the club and she just wishes Jionni was here 24-7. Back at the club, Deena is drunk and freaks out because Vinny is talking to Chris. She butts in and says, "You're not going to buy furniture from him!" Vinny's like, "I'm not," and Deena yells, "No!" Is that a euphemism? But then Vinny interviews that the greatest thing about Chris is that he works at a furniture store and Vinny just bought a house, so he needs furniture. Then Deena starts crying, which puzzles Vinny and pretty much anyone watching. Even her boyfriend. But Deena feels like Vinny is making fun of Chris. Mike is completely puzzled. He says he has no idea why this chick is crying, but it seems pretty serious. "She seems like the world's ending right now." Okay, sober Mike is actually pretty funny. Deena apologizes to Chris for freaking out, but he tells her he loves her for wanting to protect him. She interviews that she's seen people disrespect other people's boyfriends and she doesn't want it to happen to him. But what about Roger? No one disrespects that guy.

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Jersey Shore

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