Jersey Shore
Dropping Like Flies

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Lady Lola: C+ | Grade It Now!
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The Situation Gloom

Back home, Sammi is putting finishing touches on another, homemade cake for Pauly, complete with an icing man with a little vanilla blow-out. I totally want that for my next birthday cake. Six months from the day, people. Send it c/o TWoP! Sitch arrives home and continues his trail of guido tears in earnest now that he really isn't getting any personalized attention (or cake). This is the moment, it seems when, Darth Vader-like, Sitch realizes he can't straddle the line between good guy and bad guy. If the good side won't have him, then it will be the dark side where he finds his solace. All that toying with malice and second-rate scheming? That was Phase One. Now it is on.

The next morning, Snooki bends over and notes casually that her ass is protruding. By which she means her a-hole. By which she means she's torn up from anal sex. Thanks for that info, Snooks!

Out in the den, Sitch sits and stares blankly into the distance as Pauly enters the room and takes a seat. The conversation that follows might as well be the one between Anton Chigurh and that poor schlub at the middle-of-nowhere gas station. Sitch has all the disaffectation of a sociopath, and yet! He also has jealousy. It's an ugly combination. Almost as ugly as his marigold gym shorts. He and JWOWW have a weird exchange when she wants the keys to the car, and she notices that he's acting odd. Alas, she doesn't give a hoot.

He tries to act like he doesn't care either, but the minute she leaves, he storms out to the porch, grunting and writhing, then slams the sliding door shut to make a big scene. Pauly reclines in the other room, totally aware of this but... again, what's his incentive to try to help? Elsewhere, Snooki and JWOWW agree that Sitch is "in a funk." And that appears to be the extent of the conversation. Not "What can we do about it?" or "How can we pull him out?" Just, "Yeah, that's happening. So... beat beating and tequila shots later?"

Sitch sits on the roof top and wipes away tears -- or just rubs his eyes. He claims to be an emotional person, which I think at least one wall in Florence can attest to. He says it frustrates him that, no matter how good he is, no one will ever see him as the good guy. Apparently his version of "good" is compulsively stirring up shit, assassinating his roommates' character, destroying their relationships, and being an unabashed egomaniac. Yeah, I could see where there might be a problem.

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Jersey Shore

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