Jersey Shore
Blues, Balls, & Brawls

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: B+ | Grade It Now!
Something Finally Happens

When the night's second episode begins (can we stop having two hours soon?), Snooki and Jionni eat at a diner and she worries he's going to get hit on while he's in Florida. She tells him she's insecure because her body's weird right now, but he tells her not to be because she's pregnant. The guys, meanwhile, hang out on Snooki's porch while she's gone. When they get back, Pauly and Ron greet Jionni and shake his hand, but Vinny just sits there. He interviews that if he shakes Jionni's hand, it's like saying, "Hey, I fucked your girl." So Jionni has to shake his hand first. Guido logic. Jionni leaves, and Vinny gives the other two crap about giving Jionni such huge, huggy greetings. This is the first time I've sort of hated Vinny.

JWOWW and Sam bring Snooki food, and she feels much less depressed about her fiancé going off to a UFC fight. Is he a fighter? He seems so mild-mannered. Snooki tells the girls she's thinking about all the pretty girls in Florida and how Jionni has a fat whale at home. She tells Sam and JWOWW not to talk about Jionni, so she won't think about it.

MVP are outside doing basketball trips. They head to the top deck, and some girl is topless, yelling "Pauly! Pauly!" on the boardwalk. Vinny and Pauly go back inside to tell everyone. Snooki and Deena run upstairs immediately, because "Me and D love to see other girls' boobs." They ask her to show her boobs and she does; then they ask her to show her vagina and she does that too. Snooki, at first, makes sense: "I'm like, 'This bitch is crazy.' " But then she adds, "But she's cool. She lives it up." What's craziest is that her face isn't blurred, which means they got her to sign a release. Back inside, Vinny and Pauly decide to go talk to her. They ask if she's a stripper and she says no. Vinny: "For a girl just running around showing her tits, she's not that bad. I mean, she's pretty gross. But not that bad." She tells them to call her, because she'd like them both. Then she flashes them again. They go inside and roll around on the floor laughing.

Mike tells the gang that Paula's met his mom. Then Vinny tells them a confession: He has a girl at home who is the reason he's being celibate. They all think it's crazy and they swear a lot, as if it's the biggest news in the world. And then Snooki tells us how cute this is that there's someone at home keeping Vinny from wanting to hook up with sluts.

Duck phone. JWOWW calls Roger and invites him to meet tonight. He says he has to leave at 10 because he has work tomorrow. She says he has no idea she's planning a surprise party, because you never plan that for the actual birthday. Vinny and JWOWW head to Party City and order a drop-off of balloons for the party. They all start getting ready for the party and head out. JWOWW asks Pauly to try not to make too many sex jokes. When they get there, all the balloons and everything are set up, so they eat some food instead of getting the party ready. They talk about whether they ever just play music and dance in the mirror. Pauly definitely does. So does Snooki. Mike, Deena and Sam leave the Shore Store and head home to get ready.

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Jersey Shore




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