I Love Money

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Buttered Toastee

Assuming you haven't lost all your brain cells from watching this show, you'll remember that the teams were dissolved last week and everyone is on their own. We now return to the Crabs Shack the day after Paymaster Megan ousted Rodeo in a clumsy attempt at making everyone (save Rodeo) happy. 12 Pack and his matching shirt and tattoo remind us of the aforementioned facts. He and Heather and Heather's boobs discuss strategy moving forward, now that it's every man for himself. Heather testifies that she is not worried because she, The Entertainer and 12 Pack are strong contenders, and they should be fine. I think she said, "Game on, Bitches!" again, but I might just be having flashbacks. Brandi, Megan, Toastee and Pumkin and their Double Secret Double D alliance also take a moment to discuss strategy. They are convinced they are going to win it all, because they are a secret. Which doesn't really make sense, but what on this show does? Megan then confesses that although she is in an alliance with the girls, she would like to be in an alliance with Hoopz, Whiteboy, and Real. So much for the Double Secret Double Ds! That crazy Megan, what will she get up to next?

I have a game for us all to play! Since today is the Moneygrubbers' first individual challenge, at some point or another during this show every single character must mention this and then break into "All by Myself." Instead of me telling you every single time this happens, just insert it into the action as you read along at home. Say about every five minutes or so? That should do nicely. Have fun! Craig calls and announces the fact that this is the first individual challenge. They load their trashy asses into the minivans and head to the site of the challenge. The beach is filled with dummies (er... make that more dummies) with the name of one of the Moneygrubbers on a sign in front of each of the mannequins. Wow, I had no idea I knew how to spell that. Here's to drinking and spelling! (If you're not drunk, you have no excuse for watching this show. Well, maybe if you're hungover. Maybe.) Craig explains that this game is called "The Backstabber," in honor of all the real, fabricated and edited-in backstabbing that goes on in these shows. We are then treated to some clips of so-called backstabbing including, Mr. Boston screaming, Destiney getting sent home, Megan lying to Heather about 12 Pack, and other good times. I love show and tell!

Craig goes on to say that since there are no teams, the winner of each Challenge will be the Paymaster and will be the only person safe from elimination. Today's challenge is to stab the dummies (the fake dummies that is) in the back with a knife that looks more like an axe. The first dummy with three knives is automatically put into The Box of Elimination. Whoever is left standing at the end is the winner and Paymaster. Pumkin explains the strategy to Megan: throw the knives into the backs of the players they want eliminated. Megan looks confused, because she does not want anyone knowing she is two-timing on her alliances. And because she is mildly retarded. The Entertainer is up first and he throws the knife straight at Hoopz (fake Hoopz). Real is next and he goes straight for The Entertainer. Hoopz is next and she goes for The Entertainer, but misses. Brandi, true to her alliance, aims and hits Whiteboy. Heather also aims for Whiteboy, but her knife hits the sand. Then it is Megan's turn. Despite her promises to the Double Ds, she waltzes up to The Entertainer and knifes him in the back. In her confessional, Pumkin calls her a dumb bitch for watching her own back over the alliance's collective one. 12 Pack hits Whiteboy fair and square and then it is Pumkin's turn. One more knife in Whiteboy's back and he is fair game for elimination. We cut to commercial before we know whether or not Pumkin will take Whiteboy down. Try not to die in anticipation. Yawn.

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I Love Money




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