I Love Money

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Toastee's Real Destiny

After last week's elimination of Mr. Boston, no one at La Casa des Crabs wastes a moment bemoaning his departure. There is no rending of clothes, no pulling hair, no gnashing of teeth, no sackcloth, no ashes. There is, however, a great deal of hatred of Destiney. Which may seem inexplicable, but I will try to explicate. See: Destiney has hooked up with The Entertainer. Who is on another team. This is traitorous behavior. Plus, everyone on this show is mildly retarded. As Craig sends everyone back to the house to talk about how much they hate Destiney, we see a lot of cross team talking, wheeling, and dealing. Hoopz is so chagrined by 12 Pack's decision to spare Destiney and send home Boston that she is fed up with the whole team, despite the fact that the majority of her team agrees with her. Toastee is also mad that 12 Pack chose to eliminate Boston instead of Destiney. In my opinion neither player was particularly strong, but Boston was far, far more annoying. Maybe Toastee secretly loved Mr. Boston and all his skeevy, sleazy, namby-pamby, pandering ways. Those two would have horrifying children. The Stallionaires seem to be wooing the women of the Gold Team to their alliance. Hos before bros, hos!

Ah morning. Destiney and The Entertainer are cuddled up in bed thrilled that their love has survived one more elimination. They kiss a little and stare into each other's eyes. The sweetness of the moment is mitigated by the fact that 12 Pack and Heather are doing the exact same thing in a bed not 10 feet from them. If you're on a reality show, do you just completely give up on any sense of privacy? Or is everyone on a reality show an exhibitionist? Destiney testifies that she would have gone home last night if not for her friendship with 12 Pack. 12 Pack then tells us that he knows everyone will be out to get him now. Destiney knows everyone is out to get her, too. Paranoia, the new Montezuma's revenge. The Entertainer announces that things between him and Destiney are so great, he even holds his farts in for her. I bet Hallmark has a card for that!

Real tells us that he, Pumkin and Toastee have an alliance of some sort. They may have an alliance, but I bet they can't spell it. Chance jumps on the Destiney-hating bandwagon on the grounds that she is a sneaky snake who is making his team weak. As opposed to Megan. Or Brandi C. Whatever. The inner workings of these people's minds are beyond me, and I am a-okay with that.

At the team meeting, the day's challenge is announced. It is promised that someone will go over the edge. I can only hope they mean literally. Brandi wants to captain the Green Team, but she is overruled and Real steps up. The Gold Team lets Toastee take the helm. As the team meeting gets out, 12 Pack tries to get Hoopz to talk about her feelings about the elimination. She is angry that he made an alliance with someone on the Green Team, but wisely opted to keep her emotions bottled up and only let the camera know her pain. So post-modern!

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I Love Money




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