How I Met Your Mother

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Cindy McLennan: A | Grade It Now!
You Would Woooo Too, If It Happened To You

Robin and Lily arrive at Giddy Ups, a honky-tonk cowgirl sort of club, to meet up with Jillian and friends. Robin sneers. "Wow, your friend's having her birthday here? What's she turning --19?" Lily denies that the club is Jillian's scene, and oh my word what did Alyson Hannigan do to the wardrobe department? Lily's wearing some sort of loose dress, which is satin -- not my favorite, but whatever. It's the color and print that's disturbing. It's fuchsia, with wide black trim around the neck and at the skirt's edges. There are also pink, black and green vertical stripes on the short sleeves. Wait, I haven't gotten to the bad part, yet. There's a wide, white horizontal stripe across the front that resembles nothing if not a pageant banner, and on it (and below) there's a ginormous green parrot, sitting on a branch. They can't do this to our poor girl for the length of her pregnancy.

Dear Fug Girls,

Since Alyson Hannigan is expecting, and the wardrobe is used to dressing her usual, slender form, I think they're going to need your advice on how to disguise her pregnancy, without taking away an important aspect of Lily's character -- she's a canonical fashion horse, with good and expensive taste. You pointed out Robin's Cardigan/Lingerie fiasco. You were rightfully horrified by Alyson Hannigan's bangs. You've taken up the noble cause of condemning Jason Segal's hair. You've even called out Cobie Smulders a couple of times. Please don't let us down. If not for us, do it for poor, little, socially awkward, pre-murderous Willow. Alyson hasn't looked this ridiculous since the days of smiley face back packs and birthday-cake explosion shirts.

People with eyes

Sorry, but my word, did you see that thing? Practically every other female on the show wears some sort of empire waist top or dress in social settings. Hannigan isn't that big, yet. Surely that would do the trick. Okay, where were we? Yes, Robin, and Lily are a little overwhelmed by Giddy Ups' atmosphere, but Lily swears Jillian's not like that. Then we see Jillian (played by a cowgirl-hatted Jamie-Lynn Siegler, who keeps trying to make me type her name as Jamie Lynn Spears -- sorry, Jamie) and she is *so* totally like that. She spies Lily and beckons to her. "Lily! Over here, you sexy bitch! We've got bottle service!" Then Jillian and the other three women with her let out a loud, "Wooo!" Lily's taken aback, because Jillian is quiet and normal at school. "I had no idea she's -- she's a woo girl." Saget!Ted explains: "A Woo Girl is the type of young woman, who like the cuckoo bird or the whippoorwill, gets her name from the signature sound she makes." Almost anything can elicit a "Woo!" from a Woo Girl: a good song coming on the jukebox ("Sweet Home Alabama," which may have made me woo in the distant past, but I never thought it was about me; I swear); half-priced shots; a ride on a mechanical bull; or just remembering she fed her cat. While Lily is appalled, because at school, Jillian seems so "un-wooey." Robin says, "Yeah, she doesn't look woo-ish." Ha. Are they going there? Robin says, "Maybe she only observes the high holidays, like Mardi Gras and Spring Break. Maybe she's just a cultural Woo." Well played, show.

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How I Met Your Mother




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