How I Met Your Mother

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The Platinum Rule

...A title card reads, "Attraction." November 2005: Wendy the Waitress is bringing drinks to the gang at MacLaren's. She flirts with Barney. She notices a stain on her shirt and starts rubbing it off. It happens to be right on her boob. Barney is suddenly smitten. December 2006: Lily and Marshall are in the hallway and meet their new neighbors, Michael and Laura. Laura is the awesome Kristen Schaal from Flight of the Conchords. Laura asks if they know any good brunch places. "We love brunch!" Lily announces. Marshall smiles as the heavens sing. October 2007: Robin is at work at the anchor desk. A burly, semi-unshaven guy sits next to her. He's Curt "The Iron Man" Irons, the new sports guy. Robin asks if he's a former athlete. "Hockey," he says. Uh-oh.

Back at the apartment, Barney explains that the attraction is instant and undeniable. Barney says that Ted might think the Platinum Rule doesn't apply to him, but that leads us to Step 2...

...A title card reads, "Bargaining." 2007: MacLaren's. Robin tells the group she might have a crush on the new sports guy. She explains that he used to play hockey and she's Canadian. She pines for lost teeth. Lily reminds her what happened with The Gerards. Side-whoosh to 2006: Lily's hair is infinitely better. She's excited about inviting the neighbors over for dinner. Ted tries to explain that in New York City, you don't make friends with neighbors. You just nod politely in the hall. He says you call the cops if you haven't seen them and smell something funny. Robin does a long and unfunny bit about how they're doing the couples' equivalent of dating: going to couples' brunch, going antiquing. It gets old fast. Marshall looks smitten and guilty. Barney reminds everyone what happened with Wendy the Waitress. Side-whoosh to 2005: Marshall has decided to seduce Wendy. Lily, with bright red hair, protests. So does Robin, who thinks Barney should already have a catchy name for this kind of bad idea. Barney thinks it's a great idea. "She's gullible. I'm bored. We're perfect for each other!" Ted warns that they love the bar and Barney is going to kill it. He's going to kill the bar. Side-whoosh back to 2006: Marshall says he thinks the thing with the neighbors will be all right, despite Barney's situation. Side-whoosh to 2007: Robin thinks the thing with Curt will be all right. One more side-whoosh (I'm dizzy! Help!) to the present. Ted, at the apartment, thinks things with the doctor will be fine. That was a long way to go for a little bit of that.

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How I Met Your Mother

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