How I Met Your Mother

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
Bros Before Shows

Marshall at the apartment. The phone rings. He answers it while holding an Xbox 360 controller and sitting next to a beer, a bowl of popcorn and other snacks. What is up with Marshall's hair? It's getting really long and Hugh Grant-floppy. Barney, out on the street, is calling. He says he needs Marshall's help. Marshall says he's focused on the job hunt right now. Barney says he wants to hire him. Marshall reiterates that he will not be Barney's butler. Barney needs a lawyer. He'll pay. "How much?" Marshall asks. "A little," Barney says. Marshall will take it.

Barney's skyscraper office. Barney double-locks the glass door to his office as Marshall, still wearing his beat-up green "Kawasaki racing" T-shirt, is sitting in a chair, reading over a legal document. He's worried because the document could lead to a war with Portugal. Barney takes the document, which he dismisses by saying that's just a Tuesday for him. Barney shoves the document into a large black shredder. It's fast. Barney reveals that he got it on SkyMall. Whenever he's upset, he shops SkyMall. "Want a hot dog?" he asks. Barney has a hot dog toaster. "Or course!" Marshall says. Barney is going to tell his secret, but Marshall doesn't want to hear it, especially now that he knows something about the drinking water in Lisbon. Marshall covers his ears, but Barney fools him by tossing him a ball. Marshall catches it and Barney says, "I slept with Robin." Hot dogs pop up with a "Ding!"

We return to Marshall eating a hot dog. No condiments? Barney asks if he's mad. Marshall says he doesn't know. But the hot dog is helping. Marshall raises his voice because he doesn't want to have to keep a secret. Barney tells him he can't tell Lily or anyone else. Barney claims attorney-client privilege, to Marshall's horror. Barney wants Marshall, as his lawyer, to prove he did nothing wrong. Marshall asks if Barney broke in any laws. He suddenly asks if Robin was aware they had sex. Barney says he broke no state or federal laws. But he broke a higher law: the Bro Code. Barney pulls out a bound volume as Gregorian monks chant. SagetTed tells us that Barney had for years quoted the Bro Code, rules for Bros. He says some were basic: we side-whoosh to MacLaren's, where Barney delivers Bro Code Article 1, "Bros before hos!" SagetTed says others were complicated. We side-whoosh to the apartment where Barney explains Article 89: Bro moms are off limits, but step-moms are fine as long as they come onto the Bro first and/or is wearing one article of leopard print clothing. Another flashback: Article 34. Barney explains at the bar that two Bros cannot make eye contact during a "Devil's Threeway." That means two dudes, one girl. Back at Barney's office, Marshall says the Bro Code is just a bunch of stuff Barney wrote. Barney recounts the glorious history of the Bro Code. Goodie!

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How I Met Your Mother




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