How I Met Your Mother

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Slapsgiving 2: Dark Willow Boogaloo

Slapsgiving 2009: Lily stands at the door just staring at this man who sure seemed dead-to-her to me. Mickey smarms, "Hey, Princess." He brings out a board game box he was hiding behind his back. "I brought 'Diseases'!" (Yeah, and that's the game, but shudder, Elliot really gives me a wiggins, so... um.) Lily, having mercy on me, slams the door on his face, and we cut to commercial. I'll be right back after I shower.

Lily asks Marshall what Mickey is doing there. Marshall suggests they invite him in and find out. Lily used to be on a vampire show, so she knows an indiscriminate invite is never a good idea, but she doesn't want to startle the mundanes, so she just says she doesn't want to see him and runs out to the kitchen. The rest of the gang sits in awkward silence on the couch, while Marshall goes to the door and tells Mickey to hang tight while they work things out. Mickey makes a joke about his game and having diseases. I can't keep showering after every scene he's in. My skin gets so dry in the winter.

After Marshall goes out to the kitchen, Robin and Ted talk worriedly about Lily. Ted notes that the whole relationship has been so hard on her. Barney chimes in -- but only to fret about himself. "Just tell me which one of you is going to slap me! [...] I'm dying over here! Ted reaches for a chip, I flinch. Robin fixes her hair, I flinch. I'm doing so much flinching; it's bad for my skin. I'm getting crow's feet. CROW'S FEET!" He covers his eyes and sobs.

Marshall and Lily's bedroom: Marshall tries to talk her into giving her dad a chance, but Lily says that after all the stress Mickey has caused in her life, it's just easier for her if he is dead to her. Marshall lists off a list of people who Lily has declared dead to her, and we're treated to flashbacks of the newfangled Dark Willow poofing each one away: newspaper borrowing neighbor, Mr. Ossias (Urn of Osiris, anyone); Bridesmaid Whitney who tells Lily -- who is wearing her strapless wedding gown -- that she's not a fan of strapless; Mr. Park from the bodega downstairs who lied that the coffee he was giving her was decaf, when it so was not (sleepless, Lily lies in bed and says, "You sonofabitch" before she goes down to the bodega and dusts him). Marshall's point is that although he supported her when she declared all those random people dead-to-her, Mickey is her father, and it's Thanksgiving -- he doesn't want to ask him to leave. Lily says, "Oh, you don't have to ask! Just tell him that it's really important that he be here. And before you know it, he'll be at a board game convention in Toledo, giving your braces money to some guy claiming to be Milton Bradley." When Marshall suggests that Mickey was just trying to provide for the family, Lily snips that that's what her mom did by working two jobs. Her father broke her heart every single day for 20 years. Marshall thinks a moment. "We'll just -- we'll just give him some dark meat." Hee. [But that's the most delicious meat of all! - Zach] Lily sighs in exasperation, and we cut to...

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How I Met Your Mother

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