How I Met Your Mother

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Cindy McLennan: A | Grade It Now!
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Slapsgiving 2: Dark Willow Boogaloo

Theme Song! (You MUST click that link; I've been sitting on it for nearly a week.) [Do what the recapper says. Jason Segel is awesome. - Zach]

Saget!Ted informs us that the relationship between Lily and her dad, Mickey, has always been tough. He's devoted his life to creating the next great American board game, and Lily was never the priority she should have been. Flashback to 1988, and wee Lily in a pink tutu telling him he missed her ballet recital. Mickey was too tied up in making his board game "Tijuana Slumlord," to make time for his tiny dancer. He missed her gymnastics meet while putting the finishing touches on the game "Car Battery" (which seems to come with an actual car battery. Mickey asks wee Lily, "How long can you hold on?" and then brings out the jumper cables). A pajama-wearing, teddy bear-clutching wee Lily informs her dad that she couldn't sleep. He tells her to come play his new game. "There's a Clown Demon Under the Bed." I knew it! I knew it! Oh, sorry, back to the story. Wee Lily flees in terror -- screaming at the top of her lungs. Lily put up with her dad's ways until 2006. We flashback to Lily and Marshall visiting Lily's grandparents (played by Christina Pickles and Jack Walsh) who are retiring to Florida. Except they totally can't, because Mickey was kicked out of the apartment he was sharing on account of not paying his share, or any share at all. Now poor, truss-wearing grandpa has to go back to work. At the steel mill. Do we still make anything in America? Mickey swears he'll just be sponging off the folks until he gets Aldrin Games Unlimited off the ground, with his latest attempt: "Dog Fight Promoter."

Marshall tries to smile politely at the goings-on, but Saget!Ted narrates: "And then Lily gave her dad a look that Marshall had only seen a few times before, a look we all prayed never to be on the receiving end of - her You're Dead To Me look." As music that sounds like it's straight out of The Exorcist plays, Lily's (then dark) hair blows back. Her nostrils flare. Her eyes glow fluorescent orange. My word, I feel like I'm looking at Dark Willow! Heya, Dark Willow. Don't you need to suck all the magic out of all the books before you do that? No? Don't smite me Dark Willow. I am not the droid you're looking for. Chris Elliot is right over there! Dark Lily turns to her father and he poofs into thin air, leaving only ashes in his wake. Saget!Ted then brings us back to...

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How I Met Your Mother

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