How I Met Your Mother

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: C+ | 1 USERS: D
YOU GRADE IT
Unleash the Kraken

Marshall and Ted shadow Barney and Robin to their favorite diner, and do the ring-in-the-champagne-thing, but Barney and Robin have grown so complacent that instead of freaking and breaking up, they sigh and figure they might as well get married. We cut to MacLaren's, where Barney announces, "We're getting married!" Lily turns to the guys and asks them what they did, stating that she's furious with them. But when Robin asks her to be the maid of honor, Lily squeals that she'd love to, and fans away non-existent tears from her cheeks.

The Apartment: Ted, Marshall and Lily enter, and Lily is ripping them a new one for pushing a couple who they knew was playing "Relationship Chicken" into marriage. The boys bow their heads in shame, but then Lily says she's coming out of retirement for one last break-up. She'll need to reignite their four worst fights, all at once. "Number 1: the battle of the dirty dishes. Number 2: the ex-girlfriend conflict (featuring crazy Meg, who we've see in "The Bracket" and "Dowistrepla"). Number 3: A Star Wars altercation (in which Robin calls Barney's life-sized Storm Trooper a "stupid doll'" -- enough said). As to number 4? Lily says, "And of course, the biggie: The Canadian-American War," which involves Barney referring to Robin's fellow Canuck, Neil Young, as an old lady. After the relevant flashbacks, Ted suggests to Lily and Marshall that they e-mail the couple pictures, reminding them of each of their major fights. Lily sneers. "You child," and then tells the boys how it will go down.

Lily will rekindle the Canadian-American War by enlisting the help of Alan Thicke, who, you'll remember, played Robin Sparkles' dad in her "Sandcastles In The Sand" video. ♫ I hate my dad; he's so unfair... You don't understand our love. ♫ Lily has already snagged Alan Thicke's number off Robin's phone. She'll get Crazy Meg to show up next. Then, she'll have a Storm Trooper walk by the window, and finally, she'll get the bus boy to walk by their table with a tub full of dirty dishes. We flash to Lily's fantasy of old-Robin and fatsuit-Barney cracking under the pressure and strangling one another to the decidedly non-dulcet tones of "Murder Train." Back in the apartment, Ted declares this to be Lily's masterpiece. And Marshall. He's all atwitter. "We're getting a stake-out van!"

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How I Met Your Mother

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