How I Met Your Mother

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: C- | 2 USERS: B
Canadian Sex Acts
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Remember last week, when my "weecap" was anything but wee? Remember how I geeked out about this little half-hour show to the tune of 17 TWoP pages (probably over 6,500 words)? That's in the neighborhood of my page average for an hour of the craziest show I'll ever love -- Lost, and yet, HIMYM's "The Front Porch" demanded the same attention. Yeah, well, that's not going to happen this week. Not even close. Where last week was chock-full of romance and characterization that pushed the boundaries but felt right, this week is just... a sitcom. And that's okay. I mean, HIMYM is a 30-minute situational comedy, but usually it makes me forget about that. This week, it drove it home, over and over again. So...

Saget!Ted narrates that in the Spring of 2009, Ted was happily working on his plans for GNB's new headquarters, and he loved the assignment. There was only problem -- (GNB's) Bilson. When Ted presents his plan for the atrium -- wood beams bathed in natural light -- Bilson shuts it down. "Uh, no. Natural light reminds the workers that there's an outside world where they have family and friends. We want to crush that. You show up in the dark. You go home in the dark. You spend your whole damn day in the dark!" Oh my word, I've worked for GNB. It was masquerading as a hospital's finance department, but that's a story for another day. Back to this story... Marshall whispers to Barney that he needs to hear Lily's voice and makes to go, but Bilson crushes his escape, too. Saget!Ted tells us that, eventually, GNB took Bilson off the project and appointed a new taskforce to oversee current-day Ted's work. When Ted's all, la la la rooftop Zen garden, reflecting pool, neighborhood children, la la la, the taskforce gives him a standing ovation. They're the anti-Bilson. The more new-agey, holistic, touchy-feely elements Ted incorporates into his design -- for a bank, mind you -- the happier the taskforce is. Ted skips merrily along until...

There's this girl... She rides the elevator with him. She's pretty, blonde, busty, and Ted's all atwitter, so he fakes a cell phone call -- with the Mayor, of all people -- and blathers on about his big plans for GNB and how at age 30, he's such a young architect to be leading such a big project, and yes, he's single and gives to charity. Oh, Ted. When he ends the fake phone call, he fesses up to his elevator-mate that it was fake. "I also know that the new GNB headquarters project was scrapped last month. Nice try." Blondie exits the elevator, leaving Ted standing there with his jaw hanging down to the floor. And...

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How I Met Your Mother




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